


Wilted

by macrauchenia



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: AU, Angst, Character Death, Death Angel Au, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I promise, M/M, Minor Romance, Mystery, Shinigami, Team Dynamics, They're dealing with a lot of stuff, Tragedy, but there is some fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-13 08:40:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 28,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14745572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macrauchenia/pseuds/macrauchenia
Summary: They call them ghouls—angels of death that feast on the living. Only those who have been marked can see them in the brief moments before death. It's a lonely world for Kaneki, living on the edge of existence, but it's a safe as long as no one notices his intrusion. However, things change when a blond investigator locks gazes with him.Meanwhile, Hide is working an ordinary/everyday/totally-under-control serial killer case when he's the only one to notice a flustered (and adorable) young man fleeing from the crime scene. A possible suspect or witness? Like any good investigator, Hide can't disregard a lead like this.[Shinigami/Death Angel AU] [HideBigBang 2018]





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Not a thing.
> 
> **Author's Note:** This is a part of the HideBigBang event on Tumblr (definitely go check it out!). I'm also working with some amazing artists, Robin (hidewari) and Journey (Journey505), so that's more of an incentive to check out this event!
> 
> As for the story itself, it will be contained in a few chapters, so this alternate universe won't be as fleshed out as it could be, but hopefully everything will still make sense. If you have any questions, please let me know!

* * *

They call them ghouls—angels of death that feast upon the living. The legends around them were mysterious at best and their general appearance was highly contested. They were only visible in the brief moments before and after they fed, but all witnesses seemed to agree on one thing: dark wings and even darker eyes.

Hide encountered his first ghoul when he was four. He turned his head just in time to catch a pair of wings disappear around a corner. He tugged his interlaced fingers from his mother's hand and chased after the specter, ignoring his mother's terrified cries behind him. He stumbled to a stop at the mouth of an alleyway. A beautiful lady reached forward and cupped the cheek of a slouched, grubby old man. She hummed slightly, a soft, soothing tune, and he leaned into her palm before falling still. He seemed so at peace; four-year-old Hide thought he was sleeping.

The lady's wings unfurled further, shimmering and pulsing with a dark red energy. Hide watched with parted lips, hypnotized by the otherworldly loveliness of it. He took a step forward, splashing through a dirty puddle. The lady turned her head, gave Hide a sad smile, and faded from view, her dark eyes still glowing with the same red light. Moments later, his mother rounded the corner and wrapped her arms around him, murmuring gentle reprimands into his hair.

When she noticed the old man slumped against the wall, who hadn't stirred despite his noisy visitors, she gave a warbling squawk and pulled Hide from the alleyway. He tried to wriggle from her grasp to tell her about the pretty angel who had sung the old man to sleep, but his mother wouldn't let go of him until they were safely home. By the time he crossed the threshold to their front door, four-year-old Hide had forgotten most of the details about his encounter.

However, he never forgot the rippling of wings unfolding, the hazy glow that surrounded the woman's palm. He remained vigilant as he aged, waiting for the next beautifully tragic death to catch his eye.

* * *

"Takizawa—tell us what we have here."

"Uhm, well, it's a dead body,  _sir."_ Takizawa winced before he even finished talking. It wasn't a good sign.

Amon pinched the bridge of his nose and Hide paused for a moment, wondering if it was worth the effort to record such an obvious observation. He shrugged and wrote it down anyway. No harm in being thorough. He was their scribe, after all.

"Perhaps a little more?" Akira knew better than to make sharp remarks at a crime scene, but Hide could tell she was bristling under the summer heat. Sweltering summer days—always the highlight of the homicide season. "Surely you called us here for a reason."

Hide almost felt sorry for the guy, he really did. Takizawa was their Tokyo Police Department contact for suspicious murders, but the competition for contracts was so fierce, sometimes he didn't even have the chance to scout out a scene before calling them.

"The call came in about fifteen minutes ago for a dead body. I got here right when you did," he finally admitted, earning a clipped sigh from Akira and a frown from Amon.

Dutifully, Hide kept scribbling down a brief transcript of their conversation. It kept him from looking at the body until he could hear more details about it. Even after two years, he still couldn't fight the icky churn in his gut when the bodies came from violent ends or spend too much time in the sun.

_Some homicide detective._

"I didn't see any immediate signs of trauma, but you know I can't see the ghoul stains either. Thought I'd be safe rather than sorry and call it in before the rest of the department came."

 _No trauma?_ Hide lowered his pen and spared a glance at the body. Seidou was right—the man looked like he had fallen asleep against the wall. He looked to be middle-aged, perhaps a decade or two older than Amon.

 _Oh, wait. Oops. Never mind._ Hide spotted a few drops of crimson at the man's fingertips, his dark coat unnaturally shiny against the summer sun. It was the presence of the coat that initially caught Hide's attention. The buttons were misaligned and it was far too hot for a summer day. Perhaps a hasty attempt to hide a fatal wound?

Hide wrinkled his nose. Ghouls didn't try to cover up their actions. This seemed far more  _man_ made. He flipped back the hem of the coat with the tip of his pen, exposing a damp crimson undershirt.

"Ghouls don't usually stab people?"

Seidou's gaze dropped to the crouching Hide. His shoulders slumped. "No, they don't." He turned away with a huffy sigh, already reaching for his radio to call in the code for a non-ghoul homicide.

"Here, let me look." Hide backpedaled away from the body and Akira took his place while pulling on a pair of rubber gloves. She pursed her lips and tilted the dead man's head to the side and exposed his mottled neck, already blistering posthumously in the sun. Seeing nothing, she gently leaned his head back against the wall and tugged on his shirt collar, exposing the base of his throat.

Hide watched her work, momentarily in awe as he was during each of their investigations. Akira served as their spotter, able to find the marks left by ghouls. Although she fervently denied it as a gift, it allowed their small team to operate more successfully than most.

Upon Hide's assignment to their team, they were classified as the highest ranked SSS investigative unit, comprised of a spotter, striker, and scribe. However, this designation, bestowed on them by a mysterious benefactor who signed Hide's bimonthly paychecks, was as bureaucratic as it got. Usually, they were left on their own to investigate, collaborating more with the local police than fellow ghoul investigators.

Amon, arms crossed and watching from a safe distance, was their striker. A metal suitcase rested by his boots, one latch always unbuckled to expedite any necessary response. He specialized in protection-against human criminals and any corporal ghouls they encountered while on a case.

Akira tightened her lips as she pried off the dead man's blood-drenched coat. Even from several feet away, Hide could smell the thick scent of death rising off the man, now that the smothering coat had been removed. Akira never seemed bothered by death, but he supposed that was because she had been surrounded by it all her life.

(After all, tragedy was Hisashi Ogura's popular theory behind why only certain people could see the aftereffects of ghouls.)

Akira cleared her throat and Hide jumped to attention.

Right.  _His_  role.

He fished a camera out of his satchel and snapped a few photos of the scene before Akira pulled the man's thin white shirt open. As their team's scribe, he was responsible for recording everything they did during investigations. Even as a triple-ranked ghoul investigative team, they still weren't official members of the Tokyo Police Department and Hide's job was to make sure the integrity of the scene was as well-preserved as possible for the forensic investigators.

It was less risky than Amon's job and he was fairly safe from blood spatter and other goopy body fluids, but his hand would still cramp terribly by the end of each case.

And forget small talk with subway passengers or family gatherings. Before he bought a special camera dedicated to death, he used to snap photos on his personal phone. It backfired horrendously when his nephews had figured out his password last winter.

 _Amateur._  Hide shook his head as he took another photo, zooming in on the dead man's frozen expression. Brow furrowed, lips parted. He looked vaguely inconvenienced, like he was suffering from a bout of indigestion or he left his wallet at home.

 _But that's not the case here._  The bulge from a wallet protruded from his side hip pocket.  _What kind of hit-and-run thief would leave a wallet?_

"See anything?"

Akira shook her head. "I don't see any ghoul stains. This one was an entirely human murder. A ghoul didn't kill him directly and there aren't signs to suggest this was instigated by one either." Hide nodded before copying her words in his notebook.

When he first joined their team, he asked what the marks looked like since he couldn't see them himself. Akira had tried to draw them, but they only looked like messy sunflowers, dark in the center with light tendrils fanning out around. Although each ghoul had their own distinctive mark, they all reminded her of flowers, she admitted.

Some flowers, she explained, looked full. Those were the marks left from a ghoul that sucked the life from the victim. Unfortunately for Hide, those cases were most common and the most difficult. A random victim and an ethereal ghoul, only bound to their reality for the few brief moments they need to feed before disappearing again. How could they charge a ghost for murder?

Other flowers, however, were shriveled and darkened, as if they had wilted days after their prime. These marks were still made by ghouls, but twisted monsters who delighted in watching humans destroy one another. An identical copy of each mark could be found on the human murderer, their minds twisted into madness and violence by a supernatural touch. These ghoul stains were like homing beacons, drawing the two individuals—the unwitting victim and the possessed killer—closer and closer until the former met a violent end.

It was these cases in which their little team specialized. Even if they couldn't stop the ghouls, they could at least stop the murderers.

But cases like this, where there was no evidence of ghoul involvement at all?

Hide sighed and tucked his pen back in his notebook. It was up to Takizawa and his fellow officers then. Not their problem anymore.

* * *

Not for the first time, Kaneki wished being a ghoul came with an instruction manual. He pursed his lips and watched the blurry world pass him by, just as it did for as long as he could remember.

That was a lie. He knew how far back he could remember—roughly a year. His current and only memories began when the Reaper assigned Touka-chan to be his partner, only hours after he woke up to a strange, muffled new world.

Kaneki scratched the bridge of his nose, waiting for his partner to emerge from an alleyway across the street. He knew there had to be something from before, but even when he squeezed his eyes so tightly that they burned, he could never dredge up the memories. Instead, he always came away with a blinding headache that could only be remedied by feeding. After a while, he stopped trying.

The Reaper, though always treating Kaneki with a distanced kindness, never offered any answers. He returned to their ward each month with quotas and assignments, maintaining the same patient smile as he sent Touka and Kaneki out to reap.

Touka-chan was similarly unhelpful. Either she had gotten over her desire to know her past or she simply didn't care anymore. Kaneki perked up when she reappeared. Her dark wing folded back towards her shoulder blade. She nearly clipped a passing dogwalker who was too invested in his tangled leash to notice Death brushing past. She stalked across the street, not even bothering to look for cars. After all, they wouldn't stop for her either.

Kaneki silently marveled at the moment—a series of almosts and near misses—but made sure he kept his lips firmly pressed together. Gaping like an idiot at oblivious humans made him a frequent target for Touka's teasing. Part of him wished that he could be seen all the time, so he could participate in these little moments too, but he feared the humans' reactions.

Very rarely did they come across humans who wanted to be reaped. The condemned could always see their approach. Most ran or begged for mercy or cried, trying to stave off the inevitable. The few who greeted him with a smile, often the elderly or the sickly, remained in his memory, motivating him each time they encountered an unjust case. But grateful humans were few and far between.

Touka had just finished their last assignment for the day and judging by her soured expression, he knew better than to ask.

"Last one?"

She grunted in response.

"That means we're free for the day then?"

She grunted again. It was a flexible arrangement,  _flexible_  being a term Kaneki never thought to associate with death. Once they completed their assignments for the day, they could spend the rest of their time however they wished.

It felt cruel at times, other times liberating. Kaneki would savor these moments where he could walk among humans, observing their bittersweet lives without feeling the pressure to take them away.

He and Touka walked towards the tiny coffee shop they used as their meeting point, just as they did every evening when they were through with their assignments. He lifted a hand in a half-hearted wave as she split away from him, walking in the opposite direction. Kaneki had never asked her how she spent her free time. He figured it would be too impolite of a question.

Kaneki waited outside the door of the coffee shop until a human pushed the door open. She smiled and held the door as her child toddled across the threshold. Kaneki trailed closely behind, always deriving a strange pleasure from performing such human acts. He even thanked the mother, earning a dry chuckle from across the room. It rose above the muffled din, sharp and clear against Kaneki's ears.

Kaneki's eyes darted towards the sound, though he knew it would be another ghoul. Ghouls were always easy to spot in crowds, glowing and vibrant compared to the gray-tinged humans. Neither Touka nor the others ever commented on the phenomenon, but Kaneki supposed it had something to do with their position on the periphery.

He moved towards the ghouls, recognizing three of the four seated at the otherwise empty table.

"Onii-chan!" A young ghoul shimmied excitedly at the sight of Kaneki. He smiled back, stopping at the front of their table.

"Hello Hinami-chan." His throat felt crackly from lack of use. Touka had been his only other companion for the day and she hadn't been particularly conversational.

A ghoul seated beside Hinami leaned back in his chair, eyebrow propped upwards. "Don't know why you still talk to the humans like they can hear you. They're nothing more than cattle to be culled."

He frowned. It was always easy to find the more seasoned ghouls. They had long ago ceased treating each human as an individual, instead lumping them all together as mindless mundanities. Even Touka had taken on a dispassionate tone of voice during their last few cases. Kaneki wondered if the same would eventually happen to him.

"Don't mind Nishiki," another ghoul drawled, her lips curling upwards. The corners of her eyes crinkled behind her glasses, twisting her expression into a cattish smirk.

Rize.

He knew very little about her, but she always made him nervous in ways he could never verbalize. Like she knew something he didn't.

(Not that he'd really have anyone to confess this worry to. He rarely saw other ghouls and reapings weren't the best time for Kaneki to bring up gut feelings to his human victims.)

"I think it's  _cute_  that you try to talk to the humans…like you're still one of them."

Kaneki wasn't sure how to respond, but the choice was taken from him when a group of humans approached their table. Automatically, the ghouls vacated their chairs, slipping around and away from the humans. Nishiki scowled, but the others carried on their conversation undisturbed. It was routine for them, only able to inhabit the places that humans didn't. They would find another empty table soon enough.

Kaneki stepped back, allowing a laughing young man to pass by him unhindered. He turned his head with the motion, following him out of the corner of his eye. His hair was glowing and hazy, his smile even brighter. Kaneki was tempted to stay longer, curious to see if this young man's smile was infectious enough to crack the stern expressions of his two companions.

However, Hinami was tugging on his arm, rambling about something that she had encountered earlier that day. Kaneki snapped his temporary connection with the blond and focused back on Hinami, more tangible than the desaturated humans with her loud voice and warm fingers.

"Hmm?"

Hinami pouted and repeated herself, the story's details growing more preposterous. Kaneki allowed himself to be towed through the coffee shop, following Hinami as she ducked and weaved around distracted waiters and entering customers. He spared a backwards glance at the recently vacated table, eager to steal one more blurry glimpse of the blond human.

Instead, he met the cool stare of Rize, studying him from across the room with a tilted head. She offered a flinty smile and Kaneki slipped through the front door with a shiver.

* * *

"Yes. All right. We'll be there shortly."

"Another call?"

Amon nodded, sliding away his coffee mug with an elbow as he started to tap the directions into his phone with clumsy fingers.

"Takizawa again."

"Again? He called us a few days ago though! If I didn't know any better, I'd say he's lonely." Not that Hide minded the extra company.

Akira rubbed her temples, narrowed eyes trained towards the center of the table. "It's that time of the year," she reminded him flatly.

Hide spared her a sympathetic frown. After working together for two years, he had picked up on several of his team's little tics, such as how Akira's headaches worsened when ghouls were close nearby. It almost made Hide's skin crawl thinking about it: invisible monsters lurking over his shoulder, watching his every move.

Amon lowered his phone with a satisfied grunt. "He called because he said he found another stabbing victim. He wants us to check if it's ghoul related."

Hide perked up, glancing between his two partners. "And if it's not ghoul related?"

"Then he thinks the cases might be linked. He also said another officer had come across a similar case a few weeks ago." Amon glanced back down at his phone, squinting to see the file Takizawa had sent him. "Single stab wound to the abdomen, hastily covered up, valuable possessions still on the body."

"Wait—so you're saying we have a—"

" _Don't_ say it out loud. We're in a damn coffee shop, Nagachika."

"Serial killer!"

* * *

He assumed when Hinami said she wanted to go exploring, she would drag him somewhere far away from the tiny café. Instead, their adventure stalled when she caught sight of a florist replacing her window display in an adjacent storefront. She pressed her fingertips and noses against the glass, lips parted with wonder. Kaneki watched a few feet away, smiling softly.

The elderly florist would certainly have a heart attack if she knew she had such a captive audience. He took a step closer to the window, similarly hypnotized by her focused care. He envied the florist, how she surrounded herself with life and growth every day.

She plucked several shriveled leaves from a bouquet of deep crimson roses and gently fluffed the tops of nearby sunflowers, fanning their wilting petals out for one last day on display. She frowned at a bouquet of daffodils before pulling a small, drooping flower from the bunch. She eyed it for a moment before dropping it in the waste bin with the rest of the dead and decaying remnants.

Kaneki pressed his fingertips to the glass, wishing he could slip through the window and pull the dying daffodil from the trash. It had looked fine to him, perhaps a little wilted but nothing that couldn't be hidden away, surrounded by the other blooms.

The florist had tossed it away without hesitation, just as she had pruned all the other flowers of their dead parts. Each day, she sifted through the living and removed the death. Perhaps they weren't as different as he first thought.

He turned to ask Hinami's opinion, but she was gone. Bored, she had embarked upon a new adventure, making faces at a grounded pair of crows, attempting to rile them up into the air. Instead, the café door swinging outward caused the crows to scatter.

Kaneki's eyes were drawn by the motion as the three humans from earlier left the café. The blond young man was laughing again, but his words were muffled from the distance. He wondered what was so funny to have made his companions finally succumb with fond groans and a wry smile.

"Did you see me scare the birds, Onii-chan?"

He hummed in agreement, but his attention was elsewhere. Hinami turned, following his gaze to the young blond human.

"Rize-chan told me to stay away from them."

 _Rize-chan?_ He didn't know Hinami and she were that close.

"Why?"

"She says they're monsters. They try to destroy us when we're feeding."

Although the mountainous man and sharp-eyed woman seemed intimidating, he couldn't believe that the blond human could be dangerous. From their brief encounter inside and outside the café, he seemed so kind and… lively.

Hinami watched them disappear down the street before sighing again. "Come  _on,_  Onii-chan. Let's go!" She stuck out her hand, waiting for him to grab it just as he always did.

He smiled down at her and nodded. "Mmm, right. Let's go."

Kaneki pulled his hand away from the florist's window, leaving no prints.

* * *

Unlike Takizawa's previous case, they were not the first on the scene this time. Uniformed officers milled about while a crowd of onlookers craned their necks to catch a better glimpse of what was under the conspicuously shaped tarp. When Takizawa saw them approaching, he broke free from the small huddle of officers, striding as quickly as he could towards them.

"I'm glad you're here." He shot a sour glare in the direction of one of the investigators, dressed in an oversized lab coat. "If I had to stall them any longer, Chigyou-san would have started the autopsy right there on the street."

Hide turned his head to catch another glimpse of the curious crowd. Several officers were struggling in vain to redirect them, trying to give the investigators some privacy.

"They act like they've never seen a dead body before," he commented offhandedly, digging through his bag for his field notebook. Amon grunted in agreement before moving towards the onlookers, deciding that "crowd control" fell under his job description as a striker.

Akira and Hide followed Takizawa to the concealed body. He tugged up on the corner of the tarp, just enough for Hide to snap a quick photo. Amon had pushed the crowd back by several feet, so Takizawa flipped the tarp back completely.

Hide moved quickly, taking photos of the body and crime scene in a spiraling succession and pattern until he finished with a close-up of the abdominal wound. The victim was an older male, pale faced with a perpetual grimace. His bloody fingers gripped the loose fabric around his waist.

"His shirt's exposed. I thought you told Amon that the killer tried to cover up the wound." Akira's eyes roamed over the exposed skin for any sign of ghoul involvement as she pulled on a pair of gloves. Wrists, upper arms, necks. The most accessible patches.

"According to the preliminary report, he did. He was found by a civilian who thought some amateur CPR could save him. She said she took off the coat to see what was wrong and noticed all the blood."

Akira squatted by the body, tilting her head to get a better glimpse of the wound. She reached to gently move his bloodied fingers away from the hem of his shirt, but paused.

"Did the witness say anything about pulling on the undershirt?"

Takizawa frowned at his notes, flipping through the pages. "No, not in this copy of the statement. She just says that when she saw the blood after removing the shirt, she ran to the nearest police box."

"Nagachika," Akira began, turning her gaze on Hide. "How would you describe this man?"

Hide rubbed the bottom of his chin, considering the question. "His hair is neatly combed and his nails are trimmed and clean—uh, well, apart from the blood, of course." His eyes traveled down the man's torso and to his legs. "Also, he's wearing pretty expensive shoes, but they aren't scuffed or worn, so I say he probably worked somewhere where appearances are a big deal. Maybe an executive or office worker?" Hide paused, wondering if these observations should be written down. After all, the investigators would get his employment status when they identified him.

"I agree. Appearances would have been important for him. Why would someone who's so concerned about appearances keep his shirt untucked?"

Hide nodded, following Akira's line of thought.  _He wouldn't. It must have been untucked somehow. If the first responders didn't do it, then—_

"We need to turn him over."

Takizawa glanced in Hide's direction, but he waved his camera with a shrug. "She's talking to you, man. I'm just here to take pictures and look good."

Takizawa groaned before moving to the other side of the body. With low grunts, he and Akira gently turned him on his side, exposing a completely untucked undershirt, torn and bloodied from the aggressive exit wound. Hovering over her shoulder with his camera at the ready, Hide watched as Akira pried the sticky shirt from his back. The blood had started to congeal and his skin had taken on a mottled deep purple color. Hide wrinkled his nose.

"Here," Akira murmured, gesturing towards the small of the man's back. She used her thumbs and forefingers to make a circle and held it over his skin. This patch of skin looked no different from the rest of the body, but Hide knew Akira had found the ghoul stain. He snapped another photograph, zooming in close enough to crop out the sides of her fingers.

"The ghoul must have reached under his shirt or something. That's why you didn't see it at first. Hide stared down at her fingers, framing the small of his back. He had seen ghoul wings emerge from the same spot before.

"I bet there's an identical match on the other victims."

Akira nodded. "It's a wilted stain. A ghoul didn't kill this man, but they were still involved. Once the ghoul tags their victims, some other human kills them as a proxy. I'm guessing the killer is the first human they tagged."

She suddenly hissed through her teeth, pressing the inside of her arm to her eyes. She stood, features briefly contorted in a scowl of pain before she buried the expression.

"Are you all right, Akira-san?" Takizawa perked up, still crouched on the opposite side of the body. "Can I lower the body back down…please?"

"I'm fine," she snapped, sounded a little less than fine, but Hide knew better than to contradict. "It's just the heat." She stepped back from the body and Hide took her spot.

"Once I get a few more photos, then I should be good too," Hide assured a miserable Takizawa, flashing him an apologetic smile. The combination of heat and swarming flies was not doing his nose any favors, so he pitied Takizawa's more  _intimate_  proximity with the body.

Hide bent over, contorting himself to get a shot up the man's shirt without touching the blood. He felt the hem of his shirt flip backwards from the sharp angle, but both of his hands were busy with the camera. It was a little undignified to be flaunting exposed skin at a crime scene, but he would be even more embarrassed to ask Akira to pull his shirt back down, like some exasperated mother.

As he fumbled with the lens for a final shot of the exit wound, he heard Akira brief Amon on the new details of their case. He reflected on her words from earlier, trying to remember them verbatim so he could write them down later. They needed to find the first human to be marked by this malicious ghoul and stop them before they killed anyone else.

Hide had faith that his small team could track down the murderer, but how could they stop the ghoul causing this? In their two years together, Amon had managed to fight off several corporeal ghouls, too gorged with stolen human life to fade out of view. Amon had landed seemingly fatal blows— _can ghouls even die?_ Hide had no clue—and they had disappeared, but Akira wasn't sensitive enough to see if the ghoul was still present post-feeding. Like other spotters, she could only see the evidence of their existence.

According to their omniscient benefactor, only those marked for death could see the ghouls at all times. How this benefactor knew this, Hide wasn't quite sure. All he knew was that thinking thoughts like these gave him the creeps.

He felt a cold pressure against his exposed skin, like something had been crawling across his flesh. His body reacted reflexively and he nearly dropped his camera. He straightened up while his left hand brushed against the spot to wipe away…nothing? He jerked his head around, searching for some explanation, but he saw nothing. Just the body and a scowling Takizawa.

"What was that? You look like you got stung or something."

Hide shook his head to settle the pounding within his brain. He took a shaky breath through his nose and exhaled.

 _Wow. All this talk about ghoul stains and serial killers is making my head spin._ He rubbed the back of his neck, hand sliding unhindered across his sweaty skin.  _No wonder Akira has a headache. I'm probably coming down with heat exhaustion too._

"Must have, I guess." He paused, considering what to do next. "I think I'm through with the photos and I doubt Akira-san will need to look at the body again. It can probably go with Chigyou-san now."

Takizawa heaved a deep sigh of relief as he lowered the body back to its original position. He didn't need to be told twice.

Hide glanced down at the victim's face before tucking his camera back into his bag.

Yes, he had taken enough pictures for one day. No reason to take anymore.

* * *

Hinami had split off from him nearly twenty minutes ago, claiming that she had forgotten something back in the café. Kaneki offered to walk back with her, but she shook her head fervently before darting away. He was a bit bewildered by the explanation, but perhaps she had seen another ghoul and didn't want her "big brother" looming over her shoulder as she chatted.

He wandered aimlessly, watching the gray-tinged humans shuffle by on their way from work. Briefcases, business suits, and subway tickets. It all seemed a bit repetitive to him, but he realized he wasn't one to judge. After all, he and Touka-chan sucked the life from humans every day, never deviating from their routine either.

He tilted his head at the sound of a muffled commotion. Several humans were gathered in a clump by an alleyway, tittering to themselves and pointing. He could only make out a few words, each fragmented phrase indistinct and stifled.

"…dreadful…"

"…said it….murder…."

"….multiple victims…."

"…exciting…."

Kaneki cautiously approached the crowd, trying not to accidentally brush anyone while struggling to see over their bobbing heads. He caught a glimpse of the large man from earlier, the handle to his metal briefcase clutched by white-knuckled fingers. He gazed sightlessly over the crowd, vision skipping over Kaneki entirely.

 _It's them. The humans that Hinami said were monsters._ He glanced towards the blonde woman, chatting with a uniformed officer.  _Are they…investigators?_

He had heard stories from Touka and the others about humans who tried to fight back against the ghouls who reaped too flippantly. He thought the legends had only been warnings from the Reaper, who discouraged any excessive or cruel reapings, but there was now a genuine ghoul hunting team in front of him.

Kaneki decided that he should take Hinami's advice and leave quickly. However, he froze when the blond young man approached the woman and the officer. He was brighter than the others, his features distinct and vibrant. Before he had been a muted blur with a dash of gold upon his head; now Kaneki could see every detail of his face, from his crinkled chestnut eyes to the slight upturn of his nose.

His voice rose above the humans' murmurs, crystal clear as if Kaneki were standing next to him.

"That was the medical examiner. They held the second body for one more look over just in case there was, y'know, a  _pattern_. A spotter on standby found a ghoul stain in the same spot as this one."

He seemed so…  _real._ Which meant he couldn't be, if something like Kaneki could see him so clearly.

The woman responded, but Kaneki couldn't focus on her words. He stared at the young man, wracking his brain for a solution for the sudden change.

_Perhaps it's a coincidence and it has something to do with our proximality to death. Maybe that's why he's temporarily crossing over. Or maybe I'm the one who's crossing over._

The blond investigator turned his head slightly, locking gazes with Kaneki. Kaneki stumbled backwards with a sharp intake of air, some vestigial reaction from his time as a human that Touka always pointed out. If he had a heart, he was sure it would have stopped beating.

Kaneki backed into a faceless member of the crowd, apologized reflexively, realized that they couldn't see him anyway, and kept shuffling backwards. The blond followed his frantic retreat with a frown. Kaneki could still feel his concerned gaze on him, even as he disappeared further in the late evening commute rush.

_He saw me? That means he's—_

He was marked for death and he saw Kaneki. He was going to die.


	2. Act Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Sorry for the delay! Here's part two! Hopefully everything still makes sense!
> 
> Also, definitely go check out hidewari's *gorgeous* artwork for this story. It spoils the ending, but it's stunning! This and other works can be found on the Hide Big Bang tumblr page!

* * *

He hadn't really been looking for anything specific, just letting his eyes roam as he mulled over Akira's words. The first body had already been returned to the family some time ago, but files about the entry wound and the victim's identity were still available. They would operate under the assumption that he was connected to the recent string of ghoul-induced murders until evidence proved otherwise.

His gaze glazed over the last remnants of the crowd until it landed on a young man with wide eyes and dark hair. He seemed…. brighter? As if he were directly under a street lamp, but with a quick upward check, Hide confirmed that the lights weren't on yet.

_Freaky,_  he thought, narrowing his eyes to catch a better glimpse of the man's features. He reacted abruptly when Hide started at him, tripping backwards in his haste to escape. The onlookers around him seemed oblivious to his presence, even when he bumped into one and apologized.

Hide opened his mouth to say something, perhaps call the man back, but he had disappeared into a surge of commuters with another fearful glance behind him.

_Even freakier._

"Hey—did any of you see that guy just now? He was young, about my age and height. I literally  _looked_  at him and he bolted. Because  _that's_  totally not suspicious."

"Who?" Akira looked up from Hide's notebook. She had been scribbling a recreation of the victim's ghoul mark in his notes, since he couldn't see it for himself. Helpful for the case, but not so much for making observations.

He turned to Amon, who had been paying more attention to the scene around them.

"How about you?"

Amon shook his head. "I didn't see anyone run away." He reviewed the faces in the crowd. He could tell Nagachika about the old woman who sniffled, despite not knowing the deceased, and the young father who towed his child away from the scene with a scathing glare, as if it were Amon's fault for the interruption to their outing. However, he didn't see anyone leave with such an urgent hurriedness, as Nagachika described.

"No," Amon repeated, his frown deepening. "But you said he looked worried or upset?"

Hide almost regretted bringing it up. He had only seen the man for a few moments. The more he thought about it, how the man seemed to glow and how his companions hadn't noticed him, the less certain Hide felt that he had actually seen him. Trick of the light, exhausted eagerness—it had happened before, where Hide's observations had ended up causing more headaches for all of them.

"Not just that though. He looked absolutely terrified, like I had caught him staring at something he shouldn't have. I mean, it  _was_  a crime scene and maybe he was late for something, but I don't know," Hide trailed off, lips drawing into a pucker.

Akira regarded him for a moment before handing back the notebook, already flipped to a clean page. "It may be nothing, but you should still write it down. If he really was trying to flee the scene, he might know something we don't."

Hide nodded, but he stopped the moment his pen touched the paper.  _What did he look like again?_ It had happened so quickly and Hide had been more focused on his abrupt actions than his appearance.

_Oh, right._   _That's_  what Hide remembered. The young man had apologized profusely when he bumped into people, even when it must not have been severe for them not to notice. In a split section observation, Hide had thought that was kind of cute, how the stranger seemed so flustered at Hide's stare. Wide, gray eyes that met his own. Dark bangs that concealed his eyebrows when they jumped high in shock.

Hide sketched a messy face, wincing at each detail he added to try to fill up the blank spaces. He was nearly positive a few of these additions were concocted by his imagination rather than his memories, but the lead seemed dead anyway. No one else had seen him and the stranger definitely wasn't planning to stick around for Hide to find him again.

He wished he had a pencil instead of his pen as he shaded in the dark eyes and hair. The pressure of his pen tip and the wet ink pressed into the paper, a bit too heavily for Hide's taste. When he flipped the page back, an imprint of the stranger's face was on the next page, ghostly and indistinct.

_Whatever. It's in there. Maybe we'll pass each other at a coffee shop or something._

Hide sighed and threaded his pen back through the wire binding of his notebook.

* * *

Kaneki kept replaying encounter from the previous day over in his mind. He couldn't help it. He was concerned for the blond human, destined to die without knowing why or when.

No, it was more than that. He felt drawn to him, not unlike a moth to a flame. Kaneki wanted to find him again, but he knew that would be disastrous. While he and Touka were working, he kept glancing over his shoulder, half-hoping to see the human lurking in an alleyway or strolling down the sidewalk.

Touka had noticed Kaneki's excessive fidgeting the moment they met at the tiny coffee shop that morning, but waited until after their second reaping to bring it up.

"What's with you today?" Touka planted her hands on her hip, fixing her partner with a frown. "You've done both of the reapings today without hesitating. You didn't even say anything either—you just  _took_ them."

Kaneki glanced guilty away, one eye glowing a dangerous crimson. He recalled his wings, the wispy tendrils folding neatly into his lower back. He supposed his voluntary reaping was rather out of character—he loathed taking life and only did it when Touka made him—but he was too distracted by the possibility of running into the blond human to consider what he was doing. It felt like he had been on autopilot. Who had he reaped? He couldn't remember.

"I… uh…." Kaneki stammered himself into a tongue-tied silence. He trusted Touka implicitly, but he still felt hesitant to reveal his latest secret to her. He was afraid she wouldn't understand, how Kaneki felt a strange sense of connection to a random human on the street.

(He could hear her response now. "He  _looked_  at you? That's what this is about? Are you kidding me?")

He had tried to explain it once before when they first met, how he felt closer to the humans than the other ghouls did. Touka had shrugged, passing it off as part of Kaneki's newness to reaping. However, even as the months passed, Kaneki still felt stranded, not quite a ghoul but never again a human.

He knew he was different in other ways too, ways that Touka couldn't explain even with her years of experience. He had first noticed his eyes after a reaping near a storefront. As he had turned his head from the dead body, he only saw a single red blur move across the darkened window. Kaneki had jerked his head back, nearly pressing his face against the glass to get a better glance at the pulsing red eye.

Just one. One glowing eye.

Touka admitted that she had noticed from the beginning, but she didn't know what it meant. Nishiki scowled when Kaneki brought it up later; Rize smiled when she overheard.

Touka was still watching him, her arms tight across her chest. She hadn't dropped the pose since asking her question. "Huh?"

Kaneki couldn't even lie and say that he was feeling unwell. Bodily ailments were another thing he had lost since waking up as a ghoul. The only weakness that remained were the headaches that plagued him when he tried to think abo—

_That's it!_

"I tried to think about my past again," he hastily explained. "I know I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it after running into Hinami and the others yesterday. Rize and Nishiki," he added, causing Touka's expression to darken. He doubted she would pry much further into their conversation.

"Headaches again? That's why you reaped those two so quickly then?"

Kaneki nodded, grateful that his quick excuse covered so many details. "Yes, exactly."

Touka eyed him for a moment before mirroring his nod. He wasn't sure if she believed him fully, but she dropped her arms and spun on her heels, moving towards the next case.

"Tch. Whatever. I told you to stop doing that, since it only makes you feel worse."

Kaneki offered an abashed smile when she turned her head to see if he was following. "I know. I feel better now though."

Touka relented and slowed her pace, enough so Kaneki could walk beside her. "Good. I'm still going to do the rest of the reapings today though."

"Huh? Why?"

"Because I'm faster and that's the only way we'll get finished before he leaves again."

"He? Who's coming?" Kaneki was beginning to wonder if there was some sort of ghoul briefing each morning that no one told him about. It would certainly explain how Touka was always in the know while he was perpetually clueless.

"The Reaper is coming today, you idiot." She rolled her eyes fondly, the name feeling more endearing than insulting. "You can ask him about your headaches before we get our next set of cases."

Kaneki blinked before nodding eagerly. "Right! Of course!" He had completely lost track of days, a common occurrence when his new "life" had become so routine.

They lapsed back into a comfortable silence as they walked towards their next assignment. An older lady with a terminal illness. Not a young investigator with a vibrant smile.

* * *

The rest of the day passed without major incident. Even though Touka conducted the remaining reapings, he stayed close beside her, allowing their work to consume his wandering thoughts. He strayed so close that he even materialized with each reaping, his presence inadvertently strengthened by the intoxicating scent of lost life around them. Although the cries and pleas were far from pleasant, they were a needed distraction.

The only hitch to their day was when Touka announced that their final victim would be a young police officer. Kaneki froze as Touka reviewed the name before tucking their assignments list from the Reaper back in her pocket.

The young officer was frightened, shaking his head and causing his dark hair to flop across his forehead. Kaneki tried to maintain a somber expression as the human looked from him to Touka; it had been a false alarm. He asked to know why he had been targeted, but kept a firm upper lip. Touka offered a blanket excuse, that it was an immutable decision, and stuck her arm out, catching the man's forehead with a palm. Light blossomed around the point of contact and with a deep sigh, he leaned forward and closed his eyes.

Touka opened her own eyes, crimson and blazing in the poorly lit room. Her jagged wing unfurled and glistened as the last of the officer's life faded from his body. Kaneki stared; despite the hundreds of cases he witnessed, how each ended with death and tragedy, he still couldn't believe how beautiful it could look.

After that, they were free until the Reaper gave Touka their next list of assignments. Kaneki smoothed down his dark uniform, picked at a nonexistent piece of dirt, and glanced meekly in Touka's direction. He was anxious to see the Reaper, anxious to ask him questions he should have asked months ago.

She shook her head with a wry smile. "Go ahead. I don't need you for anything else."

Kaneki thanked her before hurrying towards the place where he knew he would find the Reaper. With an evening storm looming overhead, darkening the world around him, the park was empty. Kaneki slowed his pace at the sight of a single figure, resting on a bench.

He paused, waiting for the Reaper to turn his head and acknowledge Kaneki. The older man turned and Kaneki tentatively approached.

"Hello Kaneki," the Reaper said in his soft, deep voice. "Please, sit."

Kaneki moved to sit next to him, but stopped at the sight of a book resting beside the Reaper. The Reaper shifted the book to the side to make room for Kaneki.

Kaneki blinked at the action, momentarily fixated on the open pages. As a ghoul, he had lost the ability to interact with most human things. He couldn't read the book's words—just blurry scribbles on a field of white—but he felt a fondness for reading stir deep within him, a love unable to be erased as easily as his memories.

The Reaper caught Kaneki's wide-eyed stare and smiled.

"I'm sure you're wondering how."

Kaneki nodded again. The only words he had read in over a year were the shimmering names and addresses on the black tablet the Reaper gave them. Their monthly assignments. It was one of the few items Kaneki could hold in this lonely existence. He had always assumed that the Reaper was like him, similarly removed from the living world. Perhaps he was Death personified.

But here he was, reading a book as casually as an office worker on break.

"Although we inhabit the edges of the human world," the Reaper said, "that does not mean we have to deny ourselves small pleasures. As you become more comfortable with your role, you will learn how."

Kaneki sat down heavily. A rumble of thunder echoed overhead. The Reaper's words were infuriatingly cryptic. He hoped he would get clearer answers to his next questions.

"When I reap," he started uncertainly, "only one of my eyes glow. Touka says that it's been like that since I first began." He hesitated, debating whether to mention his fascination with humans, but decided not to. "Is there something wrong with me?"

The Reaper shook his head with the same gentle smile from before. "Not at all. Before I explain something, tell me what you know about ghouls."

Kaneki considered the question before realizing the answer was "not much." Touka had filled him in on the essentials, explained why certain humans seemed brighter than others, and why those humans had to be reaped. Taking Kaneki's silence as an answer of its own, the Reaper moved forward with his explanation.

"All humans must die," the Reaper began slowly. "We stay among the humans, taking their lives as necessary to maintain this balance between life and death."

Kaneki nodded. This he already knew. They resided along the boundary between realms. It was why the humans rarely saw them or why he couldn't interact with their things.

"As angels of death, we are the ones who enforce fate. However, it is necessary that we understand and respect this power. Therefore, ghouls are chosen… rather,  _born_  from death."

Kaneki straightened up. It was a popular rumor, that they had all been humans before becoming ghouls, but hearing the Reaper confirm his suspicions made him apprehensive. It certainly explained his lack of memories and unexplainable premonitions.

"Ghouls are born from tragedy. Although you cannot remember your life before, there is a hope that you will take mercy on those you reap. A part of you should always recognize their suffering."

Kaneki thought about Rize's harsh laugh and Nishiki's bland referral to humans as cattle to be culled. They seemed so bitter and jaded about their duties; he doubted they could ever be the merciful angels of death that the Reaper mentioned.

"I'm sure you've heard of other rumors too. About humans who see the ghoul marks and fight off ghouls."

Kaneki's thoughts sprang back to the blond investigator. He remembered his original purpose for seeking out the Reaper.

"Yes! I saw a team earlier. The woman—she could see the marks left behind. I think they were trying to stop something bad from happening. There was another investigator there. He could see me when I looked at him, but he wasn't a special human. I think he was marked."

A beat of silence and a swallow.

"He's supposed to die, isn't he?"

As if sensing Kaneki's thoughts, the Reaper nodded slowly. "Yes, and the decision is irreversible. Ghouls cannot lift the marks they leave."

"Can you?"

The Reaper wore a strange expression, lips pressed and eyes half-lidded behind his glasses. Kaneki couldn't tell if he was disappointed or content. The thunder grew louder, directly overhead them.

"No, only Doves can interfere."

_Doves?_  This was the first that Kaneki heard of such a thing. He immediately thought of clumsy, fat birds, waddling and cooing for bread crumbs. Hardly a comforting image.

"Though, it's been a while since a Dove has visited this ward," the Reaper added, answering Kaneki's unspoken question.

Kaneki fell silent, mulling over this new information. As far as he could gather from the Reaper's story, the blond investigator was destined for death. Nothing could be changed about it.

"And about my eyes?"

"Most ghouls are born from natural deaths. Accidents, suicide, murder. Instances outside of our control." Kaneki's frown deepened. They all sounded like terrible causes; he realized there was a reason for them to each lose their memories upon waking. "However, some are born after being reaped before their time. Reapings are supposed to be peaceful and planned, but sometimes they can be violent or unexpected."

The Reaper watched Kaneki out of the corner of his eye. He swallowed again, feeling his superior's eyes burn icy holes into him.

"You died before you were supposed to in a way that should not have happened. Fate was disrupted and a part of you still lingers in the human world. I'm sure you've felt a strong connection with the living. You can experience their world better than your companions. Although strange, it should not affect your ability to reap."

Kaneki nodded numbly. The other things made sense, but he was consumed by a single line of thought.

_I was killed by a ghoul. I'm supposed to be alive still. I'm supposed to be_ alive.

He repeated the Reaper's statement over and over in his mind, unable to move past such an overwhelming secret. He gazed forward, expression blank. Did he know his murderer? Did they know him? Were they still close, laughing at their handiwork?

The storm had passed before Kaneki realized that the Reaper had disappeared.

* * *

 Hide groaned contentedly, offering two quick pats to his distended stomach before pushing through the front door of his favorite restaurant. He knew he shouldn't have ordered a second entrée, but eating in his cozy booth certainly beat trudging through the rain. He glanced at the glistening pavement and squinted up at the hazy gray sky. It looked as if it could break open again at any moment.

_Better take the short cut home then._

Instead of following his usual route, Hide took a sharp right towards the old park he used to love as a child. His shoes would get damp by cutting across the grass, but that was a small price to pay for getting back to his cramped apartment faster.

The thunder rumbled in the distance, but beams of sunlight tentatively poked through the cloud cover.

_I think it's on its way out. That's a relief._

The park was abandoned when he got there. It made his brief dash across the grassy field less embarrassing. He was grateful that no one was around to hear his "ah ah ahs" when he splashed through an enormous puddle.

Hide slowed to shake the mud from his ankles and groaned.

_Well,_ almost _abandoned._

There, on one of the distant benches was a man, huddled with his dark head bowed. He seemed illuminated from above, but when Hide glanced back up at the sky to look for the gap in the clouds, he noticed that a gray dusk had settled back across the sky.

_Weird lighting. It's almost like that guy from ear—_

Hide broke off mid-thought and squinted at the stranger. He couldn't make out any features from that distance, but he knew a few careful steps could remedy the problem.

_What if it's the guy from earlier? He's a suspect in a_ serial killer _case._

_Yeah? What's he going to do in a public place?_ Hide glanced behind him. He could see the edges of the taller buildings on the city outskirts, but the park entrance had disappeared when he rounded the previous corner.

_Not so public anymore. Some service worker is going to find my body wedged under a picnic table. Lovely._

He was a bit surprised by the tenacity with which his mind argued against itself.

_It's probably some random guy. Leave him alone and get home before the storm starts up again._

However, Hide ignored his own advice and strode quickly towards the stranger on the bench, his head held high with a bright smile on his face. His purposeful approach caused the man to startle, gray eyes landing on Hide before widening.

_It_ is  _him!_

He rose quickly, jerking his gaze around for an escape option. Hide held out his hands in what he hoped was a soothing, nonthreatening way.

"Oh, hey! I didn't mean to catch you by surprise!"

The man eyed Hide warily, hovering over the bench as if he were ready to dash away at a moment's notice.

"I just recognized you from earlier. Y'know, from the crime scene at the intersection near a bookstore and a grocery market? I wanted to ask you some questions, but you left before I could."

The man kept staring at him in silence. Hide scratched the back of his neck, gaze sliding to the side as he tried to come up with something else to say.

"Right. So, my name is Hideyoshi Nagachika, by the way. You can call me Hide though." Another blink. "I, uh, can make you anonymous for the report, but it'll be less awkward if you tell me your name."

"Report?"

"Yeah, about that murd—er, I was supposed to say crime, but I guess now you know it was murder. Oops. Anyway, I saw you in the crowd. I tried to find you to take your statement, but you were already gone."

"Oh."

"Yep."

A thought struck Hide, simultaneously hilarious and nerve-wracking.

"You aren't the serial killer, are you? Because that would be really bad."

He would have laughed if he didn't think that would make  _him_  come off as a psychopath.

The stranger reacted sharply to Hide's question, sputtering an excuse and shaking his head.

"Huh? No! I, uh… I don't know what you're talking about."

"Hmmm…." Hide mused, rubbing at his chin with mock thoughtfulness. "That's exactly what a serial killer would say."

Instead of responding with more stuttered denials, the young man maintained the same wide-eyed, terrified stare. Hide relented after a moment with a chuckle and a grin.

"I'm  _kidding._ I'm guessing you didn't see anything then?"

"No." He thought for a moment. "I was late for work."

"I was afraid that might have been the case. Well, there goes my lead."

Hide sighed gustily and collapsed on the bench without warning. The man didn't protest, but slid over slightly to give Hide more room. Hide interpreted it as an after-the-fact invitation.

There was a beat of silence. Hide tapped his foot and chewed on the inside of his lip, reviewing the case again.

"Kaneki."

This time, Hide was the one to be startled.

"Uh, what?"

"My name is Kaneki," the man said, offering a hesitant smile.

Hide's grin returned. "Oh, so  _that's_  how it is. I only get your name once you reveal that you're useless to me."

"What case were you working on? I'm guessing something with murder?"

"Akira would  _kill_  me for telling some random civilian, but I guess since you proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that you  _aren't_  the serial killer, then there's no harm." Hide leaned towards Kaneki, pressing a conspiratorial hand to his cheek, as if he were about to share a great secret. "There's a serial killer who's going after middle-aged men. Yes, I know. A  _thrilling_ demographic."

Kaneki's brow quirked up and he pressed his lips together. For an exciting moment, Hide thought he had almost made his new confidant laugh.

"Anyway, it's not your run-of-the-mill serial killer either. Apparently, these deaths are being instigated by a ghoul. Oooh, yeah. Judging by  _that_  expression, you know exactly how bad that can be."

"What?"

"Yeah, see ghouls don't always have to suck the life out of us humans. They can 'mark' people and then send other humans to kill them. Really tricky, but that's what we're going after."

"I see." Kaneki frowned. "How are you going to catch them then?"

Hide tapped his chin, considering the question. "Best case scenario would be catching the ghoul in the act. Amon—he's the big guy you probably saw earlier—would swing at it or do whatever he does. More likely though, we'll stop the human that's killing the others."

"That sounds dangerous. Both scenarios do," he amended.

Hide shrugged, leaning against the back of the bench. "Maybe. Those scary moments are so few and far between though. Besides, I have Akira and Amon to watch my back. Takizawa sometimes too."

Kaneki nodded politely. Hide knew the names meant nothing to him, but it was still nice to reassure himself.

"Yeah, but enough about me. What do you do, Kaneki? Ha! Hopefully something more normal than ghoul investigating."

"Uhh…" Kaneki glanced to the side, noticing that the Reaper had left his book resting against the leg of the bench. "I'm an author."

"What? Really? That's so cool! Have you been published yet?"

"No, not yet."

"Ah, well. I'm sure it's a matter of time."

Kaneki's smile returned. He appreciated Hide's absolute confidence in his made-up profession. Hide continued to chatter about various predicaments and cases he and his small team had encountered in the past. Kaneki added his own commentary when Hide would look expectantly at him. He soon discovered that it was refreshingly easy to laugh in the Hide's company.

In the middle of a particularly grisly story, Hide broke off with a gaped-mouth expression and a gasp.

"Oh, crap. I'm so sorry. I totally forgot that this stuff freaks people out."

Kaneki shook his head and offered what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "I don't mind." In all honesty, he enjoyed hearing stories from a different perspective. He knew that humans feared reapings, but it was fascinating to hear how they rationalized it all, how ghoul lore had become akin to ghost stories.

Hide smiled back, relieved. "That's good to hear. As much as I would love to keep sharing stories—and believe me, I have quite a few more juicy ones—I do have to get back home and get some rest." He dragged a hand down his face, muffling the accompanying groan. "Amon is determined to go out on a patrol right at the crack of dawn. He thinks ghoul sightings are more common at that time.  _I_ don't. I think even creepy death monsters have to sleep in sometimes."

Kaneki didn't comment, but stood up as Hide did. It was nearly dark and the sporadically placed lamps were already glowing along the walking path's edge. He didn't have anywhere to go until he would meet up with Touka the next morning. Still, he would need some time alone to process his evening with Hide.

Hide turned to leave, but paused and glanced over his shoulder. "It was really nice to meet you, Kaneki. Hopefully we'll see each other again," he added with a wink and a wave before setting off.

Kaneki smiled at his disappearing back, but the expression slowly slipped when Hide rounded the corner. Weren't ghoul marks supposed to be a curse? Regarding Hide, they felt like anything but one.

* * *

 The next day passed by in a blur. 

The Reaper handed back the tablets as he did each assignment period. The previous names were wiped clean while new names shimmered. The Reaper maintained the same neutral expression, even when giving Kaneki and Touka their assignments. Only when Kaneki murmured a weak thanks did the Reaper's impassive stare soften.

While he and Touka were completing their first round of reapings, Hide's words from the night before ate at his concentration. He asked Touka several questions about ghoul marks and why they always reaped their targets personally instead of sending a proxy human. Touka eyed him curiously, but answered nonetheless.

Now, with all the day's reapings complete, he found himself on the same park bench from the day before, foot tapping in a nervous anticipation.

Would Hide come back? He wasn't sure. He hoped he would, but he also wanted Hide to stay away, never to cross paths again. He was afraid of growing attached to something that would soon die. It was like falling in love with cut flowers.

With the sun blazing overhead, the park was full of people. Each shift in his periphery caused him to turn his head, only to be disappointed when another screaming child ran past. Fortunately, his secluded bench remained abandoned and he was not disturbed. The Reaper's book was still leaning against the bench leg, damp and muddy from a late-night shower.

"Fancy meeting you here."

Kaneki jerked his head, twisting against the bench's back to better see Hide approaching from a nearby path. He smiled reflexively. Hide was still as vibrant as the day before. Bright and alive.

His gaze followed Hide as he rounded the bench and sat in the same spot from yesterday. Immediately, he opened his mouth to vent.

"I've had the weirdest day. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear that Amon is playing a joke on me. I kept seeing these people on the street—kind of bright, too, like they're under a spotlight—but when I pointed it out to him and Akira, they didn't see anyone. Like, how can you miss someone who's standing  _right_  in front of you?"

"I got information!" Kaneki interjected hastily, eager to change the topic.

"Huh?"

"I talked to," Kaneki paused, considering his words, "a friend who knows more about ghouls. She offered some advice on the serial killer case."

"Really? That's awesome! Maybe these meetings  _should_  become part of my daily routine."

He drifted back to the questions he asked Touka, how each of her answers were tinged with suspicion. He had to be careful that he didn't make Hide equally suspicious of his own insider knowledge.

"When ghouls reap, they become visible to their assigned victims and sometimes other people around them. That's where you get the stories," Kaneki hazarded a guess. Hide's words from the previous day, about how ghouls were viewed as nightmarish monsters, had been rattling in his mind all morning. He tried to treat his victims that day with an extra dose of sympathy.

"Assigned?  _Reap?_  That's a creepy way to phrase things." Hide shuddered, rubbing the sides of his arms. "But go on."

Kaneki froze, mind racing to explain what he had just revealed before moving forward with his own theory. "My friend thinks there's a pattern behind the deaths caused by ghouls. That they aren't random, but rather it's just time for that person to die."

"Oh-kay," Hide said, drawing the word out into two long syllables. "Systematic death." He gave a nervous little chuckle and a shake of the head. "We always find marks on the victims, so does that mean they could all see ghouls?"

Kaneki nodded. "Anyone who is marked for death can see u—uhm, ghouls."

"Does your friend know anything about the window between a person getting marked and when they're killed?"

"It depends." He hesitated, wishing there was a less clinical way of explaining it. "If they're reaped by a ghoul directly, it's pretty instantaneous."

"Right. Like a they-see-a-ghoul-then-die sort of thing."

"Ye-es… But when it's humans going after other humans, it's not right away. Usually a couple of days, since they have to find each other. That means the target can see ghouls up until they are…uh, found."

_And killed._

Touka had admitted that she preferred to reap directly. It was messier and they had to deal with the emotional consequences, but she said it was gentler and quicker for the human. Kaneki had never considered the alternative, how traumatic it might be for a marked individual, fleeing from invisible monsters until being murdered by another human.

(Was it worse, being stalked and killed by something just like you?)

"Low-key terrifying, but it makes sense." Hide mulled over Kaneki's words with a thoughtful nod. "I bet seeing things that no one else could would make a person pretty upset. Maybe enough to go to the police or the hospital."

Kaneki recounted the various reactions people had when they approached. Terror, anguish, desperation. All very powerful emotions.

"All we have to do is find someone who's being chased by ghouls and has the same ghoul mark. Then we can protect them until the killer comes." Hide turned and grinned at Kaneki, nearly blinding him with the wattage of his smile. "That's brilliant, Kaneki! You and your friend are lifesavers Once this case is cracked, I'll owe you big time for your help."

Kaneki smiled uneasily at the phrasing.

"I can't wait to get this information to Amon and Aki—" Hide broke off as his phone rang. Kaneki jumped at the jarring sound, but Hide rolled his eyes as his fished his phone from his pocket.

"Yeah, Hide here." He paused, nodding at the words on the other end. Kaneki couldn't hear them, but even if he could, he doubted he could understand them. After such vivid conversations with Hide, it was always jarring to return to the blurry, desaturated world of humans.

"Mmmhmm. Got it. I'll be there in a sec." Hide hung up the phone and offered an apologetic smile. "I really hate cut this short, but my team needs me." Kaneki stiffened and Hide laughed with a wave of his hand. "No, it's not the serial killer. Akira says this one is just a regular case. The ghoul mark was right there on the forehead. I have to go take some photos though."

Hide adjusted his satchel and glanced back at Kaneki, who immediately adverted his worried gaze.

"Be careful," he murmured. The words sounded empty and ridiculous and Kaneki regretted them the moment they tumbled from his mouth.

However, Hide took them in stride with another grin. "Always am. Same time and place tomorrow? I promise to keep you posted on whatever happens, but I'm still going to take the credit."

Kaneki nodded numbly. Hide waggled his fingers before setting off. Kaneki watched him disappear around the corner, just as he had the previous day.

(Was this how it would be from now on? Kaneki would wait at the bench each day. Waiting until the day that Hide never showed?)

"What the  _hell_  are you doing?"

He jumped at the sharp voice behind him. Touka frowned at the path that Hide had taken, arms folded tightly across her chest.

"T-Touka-chan!" Kaneki stuttered, knowing very well he had been caught. He wasn't familiar with any rules about fraternizing with humans, but then again, he didn't know much. "How long were you standing there?"

Her frown deepened. "Long enough to hear that he was a ghoul investigator. I thought I warned you about them."

"I… I was trying to help! There's a ghoul who's going after humans who aren't on the assignments list." Kaneki had withheld that information from Hide, knowing the type of questions it would prompt, but he had checked the offhandedly mentioned names against the tablet given to him by the Reaper. Those killed weren't supposed to die.  _Hide_  wasn't supposed to die.

Kaneki fidgeted uncomfortably until her impassive stare. Was she disappointed? Angry? Finally, she relented with a slump of her shoulders.

"I've heard the same from some of the others. There isn't anything we can do about it though."

"But we can help Hide prevent the other humans from dying, right? Even if they're marked, if we stop the human who's kill—"

"That human, the one you were talking to? He's marked, Kaneki. And judging from the fact that he's been talking to you for the last few days, it won't be through a ghoul reaping."

"I know."

Touka's tone softened, but each word still felt like a blow. "Even if the human who's targeting him fails, he still has to die somehow. Those are the rules."

He dropped his gaze.

"What were you going to do after the human investigators stopped the killer? Were you going to reap anyone who came close to your friend? Protect him that way?"

Kaneki's forehead twitched at Touka's words. It felt strange to view a human as a friend, but he didn't want to lose him yet. Touka intended for her idea to seem ridiculous, but Kaneki seriously considered it.

_I could do it. If I always stayed close, I could stop anyone from coming near him. No ghouls, no humans. No one could hurt him._

_He would still die though, kept away from his friends and family._ Even for the few short days Kaneki had known him, he recognized how much Hide needed other people to thrive.

"It can't be helped," Touka finished with a shake of her head. They lapsed into a thoughtful silence and Touka took Hide's place on the bench.

Kaneki knew he didn't need to breathe, but his chest still felt tight, like there was something trapped within his lungs.

"I felt so alone." Touka watched him out of the corner of her eye, but said nothing. "I had you and Hinami-chan, but it's been always so lonely watching the humans from a distance. When he looked at me, when he  _talked_ to me, I didn't feel that way anymore."

_And now he's going to die._

Another pause.

"Touka?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you do when you're alone?"

He had never asked her, but now he was curious how other ghouls suffered through the same loneliness.

Her gaze drifted towards a group of children, frolicking near a playground. Their forms were blurry, their joyful shrieks muffled.

"When I first woke up as a ghoul, I found this school. At first, I just went to see if there were any marked kids I could scare. But then I realized if I focused really hard on what they were saying and doing, I could understand it all. Like I could be a part of them. I still visit that school sometimes." She tutted and shook her head. "Stupid, I know."

She pressed her lips together, deeming that her confession was as personal as their conversation would get.

"No, it makes sense."

It was no different than him thanking an oblivious human when slipping through a held door.

Kaneki was unsurprised that she too had a deeper desire. He thought of the Reaper's book and Hinami's longing look at the flower shop display.

As ghouls, they were born from tragedy. He supposed some things didn't always end with death.

* * *

Hide found them standing on the street, only a few feet from one of the ward's local police stations. Neither looked happy, but Hide chalked that up to his lateness.

"All right, I'm here, I'm here. No need to sour the mood." He fished through his bag for his camera. Once found, he flipped it on and glanced around for the body.

"Hold up… Where's the body? Don't tell me it was  _another_  false alarm."

Akira shook her head with a sigh. "It wasn't, but it's already taken care of."

"Huh?"

Amon angled his head towards the kōban behind them. Stone-faced police officers were milling in and out of the building. "The victim was a desk sergeant. Cameras caught the ghouls when they materialized to feed."

"They told us they wouldn't need our services, but I had already called you," Akira added, sparing a tight-lipped frown in the officers' direction. "Once they move the body and clear the scene, we can at least look at the footage to see if might be related."

Akira's words made him think of his conversation with Kaneki and Hide perked up. "Ah. I actually have something I needed to tell you anyway."

Tucking his camera away for safe keeping, Hide began to recount the important details from his bench-side chats with Kaneki. He spoke animatedly, using his hands to press at his back where the ghoul stains had been found as well as gesturing towards the kōban.

"We might not be able to find the ghoul, but if we find the next target, we can stop the human proxy."

Amon nodded, his grip tightening around the metallic handle to his briefcase. "That's better than waiting for another body," he agreed.

"It'll mean we have a busy couple of days ahead of us." Akira pinched her chin between her thumb and her index finger as she considered the best places to visit. "We should start at police stations first."

"But, uh, maybe not this one first?" Hide offered with a wry smile as an officer approached them, hat gripped in his hands. It would be a bit awkward asking for information only hours after an officer's body had been discovered.

"Akira-san, Amon-san," the officer nodded respectfully towards them. "Please follow me if you would like to see the surveillance footage." Hide trailed before him, thoughtful.

_Akira said that the ghouls that did this left a stain on the forehead. It must have been a different set of ghouls than the one we're chasing after. Weird that it was two ghouls._

_Didn't Kaneki's friend think that they were assigned to kill certain people? Maybe they work on a team...sort of like what we do._

They followed the officer into a small room with multiple screens. He tapped a button and one of the screens buzzed to life, illuminating a dimly lit storage room. A young officer squinted at the various boxes and files stacked around him.

"He was found earlier today, but the medical examiner estimates that he died yesterday." The officer adverted his gaze and the victim on the screen spun around with a startled shout. He backed against a stack of boxes, shaking his head with wide eyes.

A female ghoul materialized, her back to the camera. Hide suppressed a gasp. It was a rare sight; ghouls usually preferred to attack in abandoned areas. She must not have noticed the cameras behind her. She reached forward, cupping the man's forehead with a palm. A single red, pulsing wing swelled from her exposed shoulder blade.

With his gaze still adverted from the screen, the officer continued to offer commentary. "Another ghoul appears seconds later. He doesn't touch Seriza—uh, the victim. At least, as far as we could tell."

Akira leaned forward. The reflected light from the female ghoul's wing threw eerie crimson patterns on her face. "Possibly a contact materialization from the feeding."

"A  _what?"_

Amon glanced at the pale-faced officer. "We can work the computer if you have other things to do." It was an escape offer that the officer accepted with an eager nod.

"Yes! I, uh, I'll be right outside if you need any assistance!" He fled from the room. Hide spared him a glance before turning back to the screen.

_Damn! It looks like I missed the second ghoul materializing._ He squinted at the back of the ghoul's head. Male, but young. At least, judging from his bowled haircut and slender shoulders.

Hide frowned.

They looked troublingly familiar.

The feeding ended a few moments after the second ghoul appeared and the female pulled her hand hastily away from the dead man. She turned to speak to her companion, her eyes and wing still glowing as the rest of her body faded out of view.

_Like the Cheshire cat…._

Her companion tilted his face and Hide caught a quick glimpse of his profile. A red eye and pursed frown. He surged forward and slammed the space bar, freezing the image with a staticky  _bzzz._

_Oh no. Oh no. Oh no._

Akira glanced sharply at him. "What was that about?" Even Amon looked vaguely startled.

Hide felt his knees tremble and his throat go dry. He tried to swallow, but it only made his tongue feel heavier.

_He was there. I saw him. We were—the bench._

"I've seen him before. That's—that's Kaneki! The one who knew so much about ghouls."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Part three will be up shortly!


	3. Act Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the final part of the main story. Please don't hate me.

 

* * *

_"I've seen him before. That's—that's Kaneki! The one who knew so much about ghouls."_

There was a beat of silence as Akira and Amon digested his words. Hide was even silent, frowning at the screen as he tried to process what he had just said. His words had been impulsive, tumbling out of his mouth on their own volition.

_Probably so someone else could see how weird this is._

But what did it mean? Hide sure as hell didn't know.

 _If I could see Kaneki…and he's a ghoul, does that mean I can see ghouls then?_ If that were the case, he could have been doing so much more than scribbling down notes.  _How come I never noticed ghoul marks then? Is it a one-thing-or-another kind of deal?_

With a darting hand, Akira lunged forward and yanked the back of Hide's shirt free from his pants. He squawked in panic, reflexively dropping his hands to his waistband to keep the shirt in place.

"Hey! What are you-?"

The officer poked his head into the room, noticed Akira's fistful of shirt and Hide's blush, and promptly shut the door.

Akira paid no attention to the officer's hasty retreat. Instead, she continued to grapple against Hide's grip, successfully exposing his lower back. She cursed under her breath and Hide fell still, no longer struggling against such a humiliating position.

"What is it?"

Hide tried to twist around and see what she was looking at, but it was too difficult. He settled for a shiver and a huff.

_"What is it?"_

"I was right." Her voice held no satisfaction, only a hollow dryness. "It's a ghoul mark." She dropped her grip on Hide's shirt and stepped back. He quickly smoothed the rumpled fabric across his back, but left it untucked and loose. He had bigger problems than some cosmetic untidiness.

"What kind of mark was it?" Amon asked.

"A wilted one. It looked identical to the stains on the serial killer victims."

Hide blinked.  _That's not good. Does that make me a target?_

Amon kept his arms crossed and his gaze on Hide. "The ghoul on the tape—"

"Kaneki?"

"Yes. You said he was the one you saw at the crime scene? That witness that no one else saw?"

Hide nodded and then frowned. He sensed what Amon was implying, that Hide only started seeing ghouls after he ran into Kaneki.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean anything. I could have seen other ghouls before and just not noticed. They look pretty similar to us, you know. Err, at least when they aren't glowing and sucking the life out of people."

"It's suspicious that he was at the crime scene. And why would he run when he noticed you watching?"

"He—he wasn't there long. Kaneki said he was late for work." As soon as the words came out of his mouth, Hide realized how pathetic they sounded.

 _Work?_ He thought back to Kaneki's panicked excuse and his career confession.  _What kind of writer has such strict schedules?_

 _Wait a second—how could he even be an author anyway? Do they have ghoul book clubs or something? Can't imagine many_ lively _discussions._

He shook his head to clear the distracting thoughts. He needed to focus.

"Nagachika-kun," Amon started, eyeing Hide with an impassive expression, "I think you need to stay away from this ghoul. He might be the one who instigated the serial killer."

Hide absorbed the words slowly, but he was struggling to comprehend them.

 _I asked him if he was the serial killer. He told me he wasn't._  It was foolish to continue to believe Kaneki's words wholeheartedly, especially after what they had discovered, but there was something earnest in Kaneki's response.

He rubbed his chin, brow furrowing as he concentrated.

 _If he were the ghoul who marked me, then why would he keep talking to me? He would have had plenty of opportunities to kill me at the bench._ He swallowed, realizing just how close he had been to death. He supposed he should have been more cautious, but it was too late now.

_That's what happens when you approach strangers on a park bench. They turn out to be soul-eating monsters._

He reconsidered his words, feeling guilty for even thinking such harsh comments.

_But he wasn't some evil monster. He wasn't really that bad at all. He tried to offer advice about how to catch the serial killer._

Hide gasped, gaze jumping from Akira to Amon. They had been discussing matters with low voices, using the same frustrating technique his parents used when he was younger and kept out of the loop.

"That's it! That's how we catch the killer!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Kaneki said that the killer comes after the target after a couple of days." Hide kept his tone light and breezy. It was easier than acknowledging that  _he_  was the target.

"Are you sure that you can trust him?"

Hide waved his hand, as if trying to brush off Amon's suspicions.  _They_  hadn't met Kaneki; it was only natural for them to be distrustful. He wouldn't mention it out loud for risk of being called naïve, but he did pride himself on his ability to judge characters. Kaneki was a bit strange, definitely. Downright jumpy too. But evil? Hide would never believe it.

"That part doesn't matter. What he said was true though. Now that we know I'm a target, the killer is going to come after me. That means we can catch him when he tries. Easy peasy."

Akira's expression suggested she thought it was anything but "easy peasy". Amon, likewise, was not pleased.

"I don't like it."

"I don't either." Akira's pursed lips slackened into a frown. "But I don't think we have any other options. If the ghoul is right, the killer will be coming for Nagachika-kun soon."

"Ri-ight," Hide nodded, content that they were finally seeing the logic behind his plan. There was no point in wasting his potential as a decoy, especially if he would be at risk anyway.

He tossed a glance over his shoulder at the computer, Kaneki's profile still jittering and buzzing on the screen. The way he had nervously skirted around fascinating details, always one step above Akira and the other "ghoul professionals" with his knowledge, should have set off alarms in Hide's head. Now that his secret was out, perhaps Kaneki could share more information without worrying about his cover.

_Maybe this whole thing will work out to our advantage. We could learn things about ghouls that the current investigators don't know yet._

Hopefully Kaneki would be at the bench already waiting. As soon as he had a chance, he would slip away from Akira and Amon—

"Which brings us to the next part of the plan."

"Huh?" Hide blinked. Akira and Amon had been talking between themselves again.

"You're going to be supervised at all times until the killer is caught."

"Eh?"

_No good. They won't let me see him again._

Amon nodded at Akira. "We'll stay at Akira-san's apartment for the first night."

 _What?!_  He opened his mouth to object, because  _really_. This was all a bit ridiculous. However, Akira's glare caused him to promptly shut his mouth.

"We aren't taking any chances. End of discussion."

 _SSS Squad sleepover at Akira's?_ Somehow, the idea didn't seem as fun as it had before this ghoul mark mess.

* * *

He couldn't remember a time when he had felt this anxious.

(That was a lie. Each time he saw Hide, he felt his stomach twist and tangle.)

Still, this wasn't a friendly, pleasant nervousness, like butterfly kisses along his esophagus. This was a writhing fear that swelled with the cold and the darkness when the sun dropped from the sky. Several hours had passed from when Hide was supposed to arrive. Although their meetings on the bench had been informal and slightly due to luck, Hide didn't strike Kaneki as the kind of person who would leave him waiting.

The last family left the playground. The screams of an unhappy six-year-old being carried home disrupted Kaneki's thoughts. He glanced around, utterly alone in the park.

_Where is he?_

Each passing moment only made the scenarios in his head darker. What if Hide had been injured and was struggling to breathe in the hospital? Or the human killer had stolen him away from Kaneki? Perhaps even worse, what if Hide had discovered that Kaneki was a ghoul and blamed him for his inescapable death?

He heard light footsteps behind him and spun around, eager to catch Hide before he tried to startle him. Instead, he saw Hinami, tight-lipped with eyes lowered.

Kaneki felt the smile on his own lips slacken. He couldn't understand the reaction. He cared for Hinami-chan dearly, so why was he suddenly disappointed?

"Hello Onii-chan." Hinami sounded sad as well. Had she noticed his less-than-enthusiastic response?

He poured an excessive amount of warmth into his words and smile to counteract the chill in the air and the cool numbness in his gut.

"Hello, Hinami-chan! What brings you here?" He slid over on the bench, nodding towards the spot where Hide was supposed to sit.

She smiled weakly before sitting. "Onee-chan says you sometimes wait here for your friend."

 _Friend?_ He still couldn't wrap his mind around the term. It seemed so  _human._

"Mmmhmm. Hide sometimes comes here."

"What's he like?"

It was a tough question. They had only known each other for a few days.

(At least, if Kaneki didn't count the time he spent watching Hide and the other investigators, back when everything was blurry and impersonal and safe. But he didn't consider that the real Hide. Not really.)

"He's very cheerful and friendly. He also knows a lot of funny stories, but sometimes he forgets that they have embarrassing endings until after he's already told them. Or maybe he tells them anyway to make people laugh." Kaneki felt the corners of his lips rise, drifting back to their first conversation. Kaneki had been a complete stranger—even worse, a potential serial killer suspect with a flimsy excuse—but Hide didn't seem to care.

Hinami mirrored Kaneki's smile, though the expression seemed a bit melancholic. "Onee-chan said he's a human."

Kaneki nodded.

"And that he's marked. That's why he could see you."

"Yes, that's all…true."

Hinami's nose wrinkled, drawing her face into a shriveled pucker. Kaneki frowned at the unnatural expression.

"Hinami-chan, are you all ri—"

"I'm sorry, Onii-chan!" A tiny sob escaped from Hinami's mouth and tears welled up in her eyes. Kaneki was momentarily taken aback. He hadn't known ghouls could cry. There had been moments where he was frustrated or lonely, certainly. But he had never known other ghouls to cry, even on particularly bad days.

She threw herself against Kaneki's side, jarring him with the rough action. He tentatively returned the hug, bemused.

"What's the matter, Hinami-chan?" He was starting to grow worried. She had always been such a happy girl, despite the loneliness and the strain from their duties. He wondered what could have made her so upset.

She pulled away, gaze downcast. "I was trying to make things better. She said everything would go back to the way it was."

"What? What happened?"

"You—you kept staring at the ghoul investigators. You would get so quiet when they were around. I thought—I thought you were scared of them."

Kaneki frowned. To an outside observer, he supposed he did act strangely. But it hadn't been fear. He tried to study the humans, to break through the blurred curtain that divided them and get a brief reminder of what humanity was like. Latching on to the ghoul investigators had been a sadistic twist of fate.

"I heard so many stories about the humans who tried to destroy us. I thought they would take you away too. I asked her if she could help—find a way to make sure the humans would never take you away."

Kaneki felt the evening chill seep deeper into his skin. "Who did you ask for help?"

"Rize-san," Hinami answered with a weak hiccup. "She told me she would fix it. That the human investigators wouldn't hurt us and that you'd be safe."

He could feel his chest grow tight again. "What did Rize  _do_?"

Another soft sob broke from Hinami. "I don't know! She just kept saying that she would take care of everything She said we wouldn't have to worry about the humans anymore. And then Onii-chan was so happy and I thought everything was better but now Onii-chan is sad again because his friend is going to die."

Kaneki closed his eyes and pulled Hinami back into another tight hug. She trembled against his chest before falling still.

"I'm sorry…"

"It's okay, Hinami-chan. It was an accident. You didn't mean for this to happen."

It had been Rize all along. Rize with her sharp laugh and sharp teeth and sharp gaze as it followed Hide out of the coffee shop. She must have been the ghoul instigating the other deaths, reaping humans before their time in such cruel ways.

And now Hide was her next victim. All because Kaneki had stared too long and tried to catch a glimpse of what it was to be human again.

"It's not your fault. It's not your fault." He kept repeating the phrase, unsure of who he was trying to console.

He supposed he wouldn't have met Hide if he hadn't been marked. After all, their bond didn't begin to develop until Hide tracked him down, convinced he was the missing witness in a serial killer case.

(In a twisted revelation, he realized he might be grateful for Hinami's fatal mistake that brought him closer to Hide. It was a disgusting and cruel thought and he hated himself for thinking it.)

Hinami pulled away from the embrace, her eyes bright and hopeful. "We can make it better though, can't we? We can stop your friend from dying?"

Kaneki swallowed, unable to answer. The Reaper's words buzzed in his mind. It was impossible for humans to be saved once they were marked. At least, not unless he wanted to defy fate.

(Seeing as how Rize had already disrupted fate once by marking Hide before his time, he wasn't sure how anything else could help. Two wrongs couldn't make things right again.)

"I'm not sure we can, Hinami-chan. I think… I think this is it."

Hinami shook her head, nearly dislodging her headband with the force of her conviction. "No! Didn't Onee-chan ever tell you the stories about Doves?"

_Doves again? That's what the Reaper said too. He acted as if they didn't exist though. And Touka never struck me as being one for silly fairy tales._

However, he wouldn't say that to Hinami. Instead, he shook his head, waiting for her to go on.

"Mmmhmm! Onee-chan said they can erase the marks left by ghouls. If we can find a Dove and ask them nicely, then they can save your friend!"

It sounded nice in theory. Hide would be safe and the Dove could put an end to Rize's reign of terror. Once unmarked, however, Hide could never see Kaneki again. Everything really would go back to the way it was before, but Kaneki would be achingly alone with Hide lost among the living.

_Stop being so damn selfish. Hide would be alive. That's more than enough._

"That sounds great, Hinami-chan. Maybe we can look for the Dove tomorrow. I'm sure someone as sweet as you could persuade that silly old Dove in no time." His voice seemed hollow to his own ears, but she giggled nonetheless.

It all sounded nice, but Kaneki knew it was impossible. Hide was going to die and there was no way to stop it. There was simply no escape from tragedy.

* * *

If Hide didn't know any better, he would have thought Amon and Akira were getting some perverse pleasure from his mandated house arrest. Each time he would come up with an airtight excuse to leave the apartment, Akira or Amon would counter with an equally valid though no less frustrating point. They would even team up, alternating between the snarky mother role and the gruff father role.

After a while, his pleas to leave were growing more ridiculous and his captors' responses were growing more succinct. Eventually, Amon just settled for a narrowed side-eyed look that shut Hide up with an exasperated groan.

Hide perked up when it was time for the evening meal. He even presented a flawlessly argued case on why he should accompany Amon to the store.

("I really should get some exercise. I can't outrun a serial killer if I'm all weak and flabby. What if they corner me in some alleyway?")

However, it was all in vain. While Amon ran out to pick up ingredients, Akira had moved into the kitchen to start the prep work. After getting a third-degree glare from Akira's beloved cat, Hide moved into the kitchen.

"I think your cat hates me," he sighed, leaning against the wall.

"Really?" Akira peeked around Hide to catch a glimpse of her cat. Maris Stella began to purr upon noticing Akira's fond smile. "I doubt it."

He glanced over his shoulder and the cat immediately stopped purring.

_Figures. Always been more of a rabbit person myself._

Hide shrugged and turned back to watch Akira's progress. She eyed each prospective cut for a moment before slicing through the stalky vegetables with a deadly precision. She seemed so comfortable, so at ease. He wondered if she felt any apprehension about the newest development in their case.

_Chop. Chop. Chop._

"Are you worried?"

"Hmm? About Maris Stella not liking you? Why should I be?" She didn't look up.

_Chop. Chop. Chop._

"No, about the ghouls and the serial killers. About me."

She frowned and set her knife down. He squirmed, regretting his decision to draw attention to himself. Those focused eyes were now on him.

"There's a lot about ghouls that we don't know yet. We may never know. Even the ghouls may not know everything. Who's to say what will happen after we apprehend the human killer?"

"So that's your fancy way of saying you have no clue what's going on?"

Akira smiled faintly and nodded. "I thought about being blunt, but then decided you might appreciate some platitudes."

Hide whistled, low and lilting. "Wow. I must be dying if you're trying to cheer me up like that."

There was a brief pause. Akira resumed her slicing, but at the slower tempo. She was waiting for Hide to speak again.

"Do you think we'll ever learn everything about ghouls?"

Akira shook her head, setting the knife aside again. "No. I think it would be impossible. The only way to communicate with them is through being marked." She eyed him wordlessly. Hide understood the implication, how costly such a risk for information could be. "And there's no guarantee that they would be truthful. We're just a food source for them. Why tell us secrets that could jeopardize that?"

 _But Kaneki did tell me things. He also didn't treat me like I was some kind of steak._ However, mentioning Kaneki only made Akira's mood worsen, so he refrained from bringing up his friend again.

"Then how do we know what we already know? Like, how do you know about ghoul marks? What made them so special that entire teams were formed around tracking and identifying them?"

"Other than the fact that only a select few people can see them?"

Hide shrugged with a surrendering grin and a bob of the head. "Fair point. What I'm getting at really is how did we learn about these things in the first place?"

Akira's gaze drifted towards the pot of boiling water on the stove. "My parents were killed by ghouls. I was eight at the time."

Hide remained silent. Akira had shared moments from her past over the last two years, but the tone of her voice seemed different this time. More wistful.

"I was supposed to die as well. I could see it in his eyes. But before the ghoul could mark me, an SS team found me. It was just a spotter and a striker." Hide nodded. His role as a scribe hadn't been added until later when law enforcement agencies had become irritated with limited cooperation. "They drove the ghoul away and brought me to Arima."

'Who?"

"Arima Kishou."

Hide's brow wrinkled. "Uh, again. W _ho?"_

Akira shook her head with a smile, the nostalgia tinged with an exasperated fondness. "You've spent all this time not knowing who's been signing your paychecks?"

Hide blinked, stunned. He appreciated the money and the job, certainly, but he never stopped to ask about his employer. Sure, he must have wondered about it when he first started, but he hadn't been close enough to Akira or Amon to ask. After the first six paychecks cleared without a hitch, Hide's curiosity regarding a mysterious, faceless employer faded in favor of his new passion: ghouls.

"Uhm, not really I guess?" He grinned and scratched at his cheek. "I just figured it was some sort of commission that paid for us to investigate. I didn't know there was an actual  _boss_."

Akira slid the chopped vegetables into the water. "There might be a larger organization, but Arima is the one who explained everything to me. He taught me about ghoul marks, what they meant, and assigned Amon as my partner."

He nodded slowly, digesting the words. He had never met the man, but now he wished he had been more curious about the world outside of his tiny team. Perhaps Arima could have offered advice on what to do.

Hide opened his mouth, but the sound of keys in the lock diverted his attention. He hoisted an eyebrow at Akira as Amon entered the apartment.

_Amon has keys to your apartment? How interesting._

She gave him a stern look before turning back to the vegetables. He grinned, wracking his brain for a witty dig to make up for his forced house arrest. However, the quip died on his lips at the sight of an uninvited guest slipping through the door behind Amon. He drifted towards the corner, skirting around a suddenly irate Maris Stella, and noticed Hide with wide eyes and a backward step.

Hide swallowed. He tried to focus on the story Amon was telling, but his gaze kept drifting towards Kaneki.

"Nagachika-kun? Could you help me with this?"

He jumped and forced a smile. "Oh, right. Coming!"

He tossed another look over his shoulder, but Kaneki was still in the same spot with the same expression. No one had set a portion aside for him. Apart from Hide, no one had noticed him.

_If I didn't know already, I sure would now._

* * *

Focusing on Akira's and Amon's words while knowing that Kaneki was behind him made dinner  _interesting,_  to say the least. Hide suppressed the urge to keep looking back over his shoulder. He knew doing so would attract unwanted attention from his teammates.

He glanced at Akira, lips pursed as she stabbed at her food.  _Her headaches must have been rampant for the last couple of days._

"Hey! I'll clean up tonight! It's the least I can do." He grinned and stood up fast enough to knock the chair back.

Akira smiled thinly as she passed Hide her plate. She thanked him and excused herself from the table, offhandedly mentioning that she needed to get some rest.

Amon disappeared soon after, but not before fetching a set of spare sheets from one of the many cabinets lining Akira's hallway and handing them to Hide.

("Come here often?" Hide had remarked, noting how Amon immediately knew where to go. Amon shot him an unamused look but offered no clues as he left.)

Hide's smile remained on his lips as he smoothed the sheets down on Akira's sofa. Their little sleepover had been more enlightening that he had anticipated. When he forgot about the whole hiding-from-a-serial-killer bit, it was rather nice. A shift of movement caught his eye and he turned.

"Oh, so now you wanna keep me company, you little furba—" Hide broke off.

_Kaneki. Oh right._

Hide tossed the extra sheets aside and strode towards Kaneki. Kaneki took a hesitant step back, almost if Hide intimidated him.

 _Something's definitely off if a_ ghoul _is afraid of a 50-something-kilogram human._

"What are you doing here?" Hide kept his voice low, just in case Amon was nearby.

Kaneki's gaze darted around the room, but he avoided Hide's stare. He opened his mouth, possibly to explain or apologize, but nothing came out.

"You would have freaked me out if I hadn't already figured out you're a ghoul."

Kaneki looked up, finally meeting Hide's eyes. Hide softened and offered Kaneki a smile, hoping his friend would relax. He hadn't meant to come off so abrupt, but seeing Kaneki had startled him and he didn't want to think about what would happen if Amon or Akira discovered them.

"You knew already?"

Hide hoisted a brow. "I probably wouldn't be this calm if I hadn't already known." Granted, they wouldn't even have known he was marked if he hadn't seen Kaneki on that footage. He would be tucked away in his own apartment, none the wiser.

"You materialized on some security footage during a feeding." Kaneki winced, but nodded. "When I pointed it out to my team, Akira figured out I was marked." He subconsciously brushed his knuckles across the small of his back.

"Oh."

"Yep."

They fell silent again and Hide gently reminded Kaneki that he hadn't told him why he had followed Amon.

"Uh, I—I was... You didn't show up at the park bench."

Hide's grin widened. "Aww, so you were worried about me too? That's sweet, Kaneki."

Could ghouls blush? If Hide didn't know any better, he could have sworn Kaneki's face had taken on a reddish hue. Or maybe it was because he had strayed too close to the digital clock.

"I found out important information about your serial killer case. When you didn't show up, I planned to follow one of your coworkers until I figured out where you worked. I…I didn't expect to see you so, uh,  _soon_. If I had known, I wouldn't have—I didn't want to scare you." His gaze drifted away from Hide's face as he trailed off.

Hide dismissed Kaneki's confession with a wave of a hand and crinkled eyes. "The park bench was my fault. I fully intended to meet you there. When Akira and Amon found out I was marked, they refused to let me out of their sight. I tried to sneak away, but Akira is  _relentless."_

He paused, reviewing their first conversation.

_(You aren't the serial killer, are you? Because that would be really bad.)_

(Kaneki's sputtered denial and the shock in his eyes when Hide playfully accused him of being a murder.)

"You weren't the one who marked me, were you?"

_You aren't the serial killer, are you?_

"No, I wasn't, but—"

Hide silenced his objection with a firm slash of the hand. "If you didn't mark me, then it's fine. It doesn't matter at this point anyway."

"It's not fine though!" Kaneki leaned forward, finally breaking free from his meekness. "You're in danger, Hide! You shouldn't take this so lightly!"

Despite the harsh reminder of his looming fate, Hide had to smile. The Kaneki on the bench was back, the one who chastised Hide for his carelessness while concealing upturned lips behind a hand. The Kaneki that worried and fretted as much as he laughed.

"Nagachika-kun?" Amon peeked around the corner, hair damp and exposed skin red. "Were you talking to someone?"

Hide laughed, unworried, while Kaneki stiffened reflexively. "Just talking to Maris Stella! I think she's finally coming around."

He looked from the gently snoring cat to Hide. "You should get some sleep."

"Will do, Amon-san." Hide offered a messy salute before crossing to his makeshift bed and dropping onto it. "Going to bed now."

Amon paused, perhaps considering his next words, before shaking his head with a faint smile. He offered another grunted goodbye before disappearing. Hide could hear the wet, slippery sounds of his footprints fading down the hallway.

Kaneki followed him to the couch, crossing his arms as he stared down at Hide.

"You should rest."

Hide stretched his arms above his head, wriggling with a content sigh as he shifted into a more comfortable position. "So now I have  _three_  people fussing over me? How did I get so lucky?"

He hesitated before reaching over and twisting the switch on the nearest lamp. Darkness flooded the room.

"Besides, I don't feel like sleeping away the time I have left. However long that is."

"Hide—"

His eyes were adjusting well to the darkness. He could pick out the rough spackling along Akira's ceiling and the shriveled silhouette of a forgotten houseplant. He rolled his head to the side and studied Kaneki. There was a faint glow about him, illuminating his solemn frown.

"Wow. That got dark real fast, huh? My bad." He kept his voice light. "But, in all truthfulness, I'm not used to going to bed this early. Maybe we can just talk till I fall asleep?"

He felt like a small child, begging his mother for a glass of water or another bedtime story. It was ridiculous and he opened his mouth to counter his own request with another self-depreciating joke.

"That would be nice," Kaneki's voice was hushed even though no one else could hear. Hide squinted, no longer able to see Kaneki where he had been standing before. He turned his head and found Kaneki sitting by his side, arm resting on the sofa, a few centimeters from Hide.

Hide felt himself relax, the stress from the day's discoveries slipping away. He knew he should be afraid. Hell, he should be angry or upset, raging against the unfairness that might be his unavoidable death. But he wasn't, instead content to just lie there next to Kaneki and listen to the muted rumble of passing cars.

"Hey, Kaneki. Did I ever finish telling you the story about the fireworks?"

* * *

Hide gave Kaneki his life, offering stories about his childhood and whispering confessions with the darkness to cover his pleased blush. He kept his own tone quiet, but he tried to provoke Kaneki into laughter with each ridiculous comment, knowing that only he could hear the sound.

Kaneki gave what he could remember, admitting his lost love for reading and his overwhelming loneliness. He told Hide about Touka-chan and Hinami-chan and how it was nice to at least have them. He told him about the Reaper, which prompted Hide to speculate about his own mysterious employer.

He even told him about Rize, the ghoul who caused this nightmare that brought them together.

"So, she's the one who instigated the serial killer then?"

"Yes."

"How does it work then? The, uh, let's call it 'remote control reaping.'"

Kaneki blinked. "Remote control reaping?" he echoed.

"Yeah, are there strings attached that lead them to the victims? Something that pulls them together? How does a ghoul convince a perfectly sane human to go off and kill other people?"

Kaneki fell silent, considering the question. He didn't have to mince words as he had before, but he still wanted to approach the subject delicately. Especially considering Hide's personal tie to the answer.

"The human killer is marked. You already know that, right?"

"Right. And the victims are also marked. Akira says the ghoul marks look identical, which makes things a whole lot easier to work with."

"To convince a human to kill, the ghoul has to offer an alternative to reaping. If the human performs some task for the ghoul, they can keep living."

"Like, follow your gut and kill this person and you can live another week. Do nothing and you'll die?"

"Yes. Just like that." Kaneki hated it and he was glad Touka was similarly opposed to the technique.

"Makes sense. They're killing to live." Hide swallowed before nodding. "Glad we don't have to mess with the legal bits tied to ghoul blackmail. We just stop 'em from murdering people."

He glanced sideways at Hide. Ghouls didn't follow the same code that humans had, but it was wrong nonetheless to reap those who still had life left to live.

"What you do is still important. It isn't fair that people should die so others could live."

A sleepy murmur of assent from Hide. His breaths slowed and deepened; Kaneki assumed he had finally fallen asleep.

"Kaneki?"

_Or not._

"Hmm?"

He heard Hide shift and his hand dropped onto Kaneki's. Kaneki stiffened at the contact, feeling Hide's sweaty palm overlay his icy knuckles. He kept his eyes closed, focusing all his senses on the touch.

"Your hand is cold."

Kaneki smiled. He would argue that Hide's hand was too hot. The skin of the living tended to be warm, clammy even, but Hide's skin radiated with a different heat.

"Do all ghouls have cold skin?"

Kaneki considered this. They were creatures of death. They could still touch and feel, but the emotions themselves felt like poor carbon copies without a proper body to experience them with. Anger, but without blood to pulse. Anxiety, but without lungs to burn.

"I guess so. I've only touched Hinami-chan and Touka-chan before, but they were both cold."

"Well, that's too bad then. Here I was, thinking that this reaping thing might feel kind of pleasant. Now it looks like I'm going to get smacked by a cold fish." He laughed, an abrupt and jagged sound.

Kaneki adjusted his position to get a better look at Hide's expression. He could only make out a glassy brightness near his eyes and a darkened shadow where his lips would be.

"Hide, we don't—"

"I'm not saying this to get pity," Hide interrupted, his voice taking on a neutral, matter-of-fact tone. "I'm curious and this might be our first chance to learn more about ghouls. What does it feel like?" A pause. "I've seen a bunch of different facial expressions on the bodies. They aren't exactly consistent."

Kaneki remained silent and Hide tightened his grip on his hand.

"Come on,  _tell me_."

He relented with a puckered frown. "I don't know what it's like for the human. There's never been a chance to ask."

"Fair enough. What's it like for you then?"

"It's different for each of us. When we reap, we don't just steal a person's strength or youth. It's more complicated than that. It's like… It's like we feed off their life—in all possible ways."

He thought about the various reactions his coworkers had. Touka treated it like a job, but there were moments when it took an emotional toll and she hated it with a passion. Conversely, he knew Rize reveled in reaping, treating each stolen second as a tasty morsel. The fear and anger were like spices to her.

And how did he feel? Like a thief, unable to feel anything himself so he had to rely on poaching emotions from others.

Kaneki glanced away, almost embarrassed by the confession. "Usually memories and emotions will come with the other bits. We can experience what the person feels and sometimes even get a sense of what their life was like. Usually, it's not pleasant."

"So, you're like a deadly vacuum cleaner? Sucking out the disgusting parts inside of people?"

He winced at the imagery. "Ye-es, I suppose so."

"But that's a good thing, right? If you're taking away those bad feelings and thoughts, then they should feel relieved, happy even."

"Or empty," Kaneki countered. Still, Hide's words caused him to consider his past cases. How many times had he pulled away from a victim, noting smooth brows and faint smiles? How they sometimes would lean deeper into his hand after the reaping had begun?

"Yes. It seems some people find peace with death," Kaneki admitted carefully. He could feel Hide's grip on his hand slacken.

"I bet it's just like falling asleep," Hide murmured softly, his breaths slowing once more.

Kaneki remained silent as night shifted into dawn, wondering what his own killer pulled from him. Was that why he still felt empty?

* * *

The man found Hide while he was alone, waiting outside Akira's apartment for his partners to emerge. He had promised to remain on the stoop like some well-trained dog for the few moments it took Akira to grab a spare file and for Amon to collect his jacket. However, when the man approached him, stained hand clutching his side, Hide broke that promise and rose from the step.

"H-help! You-you have to h-help me!" His eyes were wide, his chest heaving with suppressed sobs. "They-they're after me. They tried to ki-kill me!"

Hide held out his hands and took a cautious step towards the man. "Who's trying to kill you?"

"No one can see them except for me!"

_Ghouls. He must be marked._

"Were they coming after you?"

The man shook his head. "They watch me. I can't get away!"

His teammates would be back soon. He just had to keep the man calm for a few moments more.

"Please… I can see them everywhere. The monsters with wings!"

He flicked his gaze over the man's shoulder. Kaneki was a few meters away, discussing something quietly with the female ghoul from the tape.  _That must be Touka, his partner._

Hide swallowed. If this man noticed Kaneki and Touka, he would flee and they would lose another potential witness. Worse, he might be caught by the serial killer and they would be back at the starting line.

"I can help you," he began, using his softest voice possible. "But first you have to take deep breaths for me. Try to calm down."

The man turned his gaze on Hide, a spark of recognition replacing the glassiness. Hide shivered, wondering if he would have been driven to such fear without the support from his team and Kaneki.

"H-he's going to kill me. H-he's going to find me."

"If you'll wait for a few more moments, my partners will come and help. Amon—he's really big and scary. I promise no one will— _hey! Wait!"_

The man gave a strangled yelp before leaping off the step. Hide reflexively reached out to snag his jacket, but he had already moved out of range. He disappeared around the corner, fleeing into an adjacent alleyway.

 _Dammit. Akira and Amon are going to kill me for this._  Hide hopped off the stoop and crept towards the shadowy entrance. Kaneki and Touka had been startled by the outburst, Kaneki's head turning as he followed Hide's tiptoed progress.

_Ehh, it's okay. Kaneki saw me. He knows where I'm going._

"Hello? Uh, sir? Please come out!" Hide's movements were slow and deliberate. He didn't want to startle him any more than necessary. He spotted the man, trembling in the center of the alleyway. Hide took another step forward, but froze when the man uttered another fearful squeak.

"There! Can you see it? He's going to kill me!"

Hide turned to see what the man was gesturing wildly at.

"Oh, him?" Hide relaxed when he recognized the figure standing between them and the exit. "He's a, uh, friendly ghoul. Yo, Kaneki. Can you give us a wave?"

"Hide, I thi—"

"She promised. She promised he couldn't get me. She  _promised_. As long as I did what she told me to."

Hide froze, feeling ice flood his veins.  _She?_  His gaze snapped back to the man and he took a hasty step backwards.

"Nagachika-kun! Where are you?"

He opened his mouth—to reason or to scream, he hadn't worked out which yet—but only a soft gasp came out. Suddenly the man was centimeters from his face and he felt cold, so very cold.

Hide didn't feel the knife go in, but he felt it as it was yanked out. It hurt, but not as much as the fire in his lungs as he swallowed the scream. His heart pounded, pumping more and more blood out with each beat, staining his hands and his favorite shoes and was he really going to die—oh god he was going to die.

He stumbled a weak half-circle and caught a glimpse of Kaneki's horrorstruck expression. He tried to mouth an apology—really, was he that much of an idiot that he couldn't sense a trap—but his lips were too numb to function properly.

_"Hide!"_

_I'm sorry, Kaneki._

* * *

Everything moved in slow motion. Kaneki's gaze shifted from Hide to the marked human. He could see the man's every feature, from his crazed eyes to his spittle-flecked lips. He didn't see the knife until it was too late.

_"Hide!"_

He surged forward and shoved the man against the nearest wall. He struggled weakly in Kaneki's grip, whimpering about  _her_  promises.

Kaneki didn't care _._

His world burned crimson. The man's exposed gums and Hide's blood. The broiling rage in Kaneki's vision. His pulsing wings as they unfurled and shimmered with every last drop of the man's life, all his memories and fears.

Kaneki dropped the lifeless body and spun around to face Hide. He was still upright, but barely. The moment Kaneki's hand reached out to touch him, Hide collapsed, dragging Kaneki down, down, down as well.

"No, Hide... Please… Look at me…" Kaneki pulled Hide into his lap, feeling Hide's too-warm blood spill over his legs. Everything felt so real and vivid, from the gravel biting into his backside to Hide's gasping convulsions.

"H-hey…'neki…"

"Nagachika-kun!"

"No!"

Kaneki spared a glance at the two humans. Fueled by the murderer's stolen life, Kaneki was of their world now. He could see their emotions clearly, the same rage and fear that he felt.

"Get away from him!" The man moved forward, unlocking a latch on his briefcase. The woman yanked him back with a shake of the head.

"No, it's too late."

_It's too late._

Kaneki dropped his gaze back to Hide. He could still feel a sluggish pulse, but Hide's breathing had slowed.

_It's too late._

"Hide… Please wake up…"

_It's too late._

" _Please_ …"

A new wetness dribbled down his cheek, the foreign sensation momentarily startling him. He was…  _crying?_  Kaneki, the ghoul who stole emotions from the damned because he ached to be human, was  _crying?_

He would have laughed at the irony, but the only person who would have understood was lying in his arms.

It wasn't  _fair_.

Kaneki wasn't supposed to be reaped. He wasn't supposed to meet Hide. Hide wasn't supposed to die. Everything went wrong because someone tied too many knots in fate.

Kaneki sniffled, realizing there was a way to add one more knot. He could refuse to let Death take Hide. His wings were casting crimson shadows on their faces, throbbing with the same energy that tried to kill Hide. Kaneki squeezed his eyes shut and tried to channel that power.

What if he could give it back to Hide? That and everything else he had?

A pale light glowed where Kaneki's skin touched Hide. The light swelled, washing over them with a gentle warmth.

"Come back, please…." Kaneki whispered into Hide's hair.

Hide's chest stilled and his eyelids stopped fluttering.

_No...no…no!_

Kaneki's sobs grew louder and he pulled Hide's body closer to his chest.

It didn't work—why did he think it ever would?

There was a startled gasp from one of the humans. Kaneki looked up quickly, hope rising in his throat. Maybe they had seen something he hadn't. However, the alleyway was just dark, Hide just as still.

"Arima-san." The woman bobbed her head, brushing at her eyes with a sleeve. "How did you—?"

Kaneki's gaze settled heavily on the Reaper approaching them. Touka hovered nervously a few meters away, lips pressed and eyes downcast.

"Kaneki, what have you done?" The Reaper's words were calm, but they felt sharp enough to shred Kaneki's heart. "What did you do with that human's stolen energy?"

He glanced back at Hide's face, peaceful in death. Like he had fallen asleep, just as he wanted to.

"I tried to save him," he murmured. "I thought I could bring him back."

"And you thought you could defy fate?"

Kaneki looked up sharply. He wanted to scream back at the Reaper, demand to know why this happened in the first place, as if fate weren't fucked up enough. However, Kaneki's anger collapsed inwardly with another slump of the shoulders.

"He was a good person. It was a mistake. He shouldn't have been rea—" Kaneki broke off, eyes widening. If the Reaper was here, then that meant—

"He wasn't supposed to die! He was reaped before his time! That means he can be a ghoul, right?" He grasped at the chance, feeling hope bubble in his throat again. It was a dangerous emotion, but it beat the sorrow threatening to choke him.

He didn't know if Hide would ever want to be a ghoul, but like all selfish monsters, Kaneki refused to let go.

The Reaper's impassive gaze studied Hide. "He was marked, but he wasn't reaped. He was killed by another human."

"Oh."

"He cannot become a ghoul." Kaneki bowed his head, too exhausted to struggle against the impossible anymore.

The Reaper paused, considering Hide's pale body and Kaneki's tear-streaked face. He glanced over his shoulder at his stunned remnants of his human team with their adverted gazes and mashed lips.

"No, but there are other ways to grow wings."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! All the little details will be wrapped up in the epilogue. What'll happen to Hide and Kaneki? Who's Arima/the Reaper? Will Maris Stella ever learn to love (rip)? Stay tuned to find out!


	4. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but I decided to rewrite the epilogue! 
> 
> I was originally going to end it with Hide dying and Kaneki crying and everyone becoming miserable (except Maris Stella, who literally does not give a damn). But I decided to switch it up some. Hopefully you'll enjoy this version much more!

 

* * *

He felt like he was barely treading water, sinking deeper into a thick, murky pool as the days passed. He couldn't move forward and he couldn't see anything through the fog, just stuck in the blurred world around him.

Even the few moments of clarity when he reaped or spoke with other ghouls felt fake. It reminded him of light bouncing through smoke and if he waved a hand through it, it would all dissipate too. It was a strange, detached sensation to experience and one even stranger to consider. If his mind hadn't already been preoccupied by a single thought, he might have enjoyed thinking about it.

It had been a month since the Reaper took Hide away. A month of strange looks from Touka and desperate hugs from Hinami. A month of silent vigils on a park bench and stone-faced anger whenever he passed Rize on the street.

_"No, but there are other ways to find wings."_

Kaneki didn't know what his words meant and hope felt fragile and dangerous, but he had to cling to something when the Reaper pulled Hide's still-warm body from his arms.

"Hey, Kaneki—"

He looked up, dazed after being yanked from his thoughts. Touka watched him with the same indescribable look, lips pressed tight and gaze softened.

(Was it pity or amusement? He couldn't tell anymore.)

"Huh?"

"You know what today is, right?"

He nodded. A month had passed. It was time to get new assignments.

"I didn't want this to come as a shock," she started slowly.

"What would come as a shock?" Kaneki eyed her curiously.

Touka huffed and crossed her arms, settling for a forced gruffness to break the news. "I, uh… Y'know what—I'll just say it. I requested that Hinami be my new partner."

Kaneki blinked, feeling a bit betrayed.  _She's replacing me with Hinami? Is she old enough to start reaping?_

"She's new and needs someone to teach her." She avoided his gaze with another huff, blowing a lock of her bangs to the side; Kaneki belatedly realized she didn't want to admit that she was proud of her student. "You are doing well enough so it's time you train a new partner. Besides, you always look miserable all the time. Now you can depress someone else."

Her tone was light and Kaneki felt himself smiling despite the harshness of the words.  _I suppose I have been a bit melancholy over the last month… er, year._

The rest of her words sunk in and his eyes widened.

"Wait…  _new partner?"_

* * *

"Female. Roughly in her seventies or eighties. Full ghoul mark under the left side of the chin."

He grunted and scribbled the details down in his notebook. Akira glanced over his shoulder with an approving nod.

"Your handwriting is neater than Nagachika's was. It'll be easier to review cases."

Seidou accepted the compliment with a weak smile. It felt strange to talk about his predecessor in the past tense, having accepted the open scribe position in Nagachika's absence.

_His absence?_ That made it sound like Nagachika was away on vacation or sick leave. He wasn't coming back to this position; it could be Seidou's job if he so desired to keep it.

He eyed the dead woman in front of him, slumped against her kitchen wall.

_At least the hours are better._

"It'll be nice to have a scribe again," Amon added. He had temporarily taken over the role and was glad to relinquish it.

They fell silent. Akira tilted the old woman's head to the side and Seidou snapped a half-hearted photograph.

"Hmmm, but it's too bad that we lost our contact in the police department. Even if half the cases were false alarms."

Seidou rolled his eyes, but said nothing. He had suffered from Akira's jabs back when he was still a police officer. If he took on the job, he would have to get used to them.

"Don't worry. My old partner promised to keep me in the loop about suspicious cases that might be caused by ghouls. Houji-san is a pretty dependable guy."

Amon nodded with an approving grunt. He had encountered the officer several times during investigations. Appeased, Akira straightened up and pulled off her gloves.

"Good. I think we're done here. Just a routine feeding. Natural death."

Seidou slipped the pen back in his notebook and wandered towards a row of picture frames along the woman's side table. "So what's next then? Do we contact the next of kin? File a report?" He reached for a frame and smiled sadly at the photograph. It was the woman, younger and beaming next to an ashen-haired man. He hadn't noticed male shoes or coats by the door.

"Usually at this point Nagachika would go get coffee for us."

"No, I wouldn't." Seidou jumped at the voice, lowering the picture frame to the table with a heavy thud and a wince. "Don't let them bully you."

He spun around and saw Nagachika in the apartment door threshold, one shoulder pressed against the doorframe and arms crossed.

"Ahh, sorry for startling you. Amon-san texted me the address and I figured I'd drop by to see how your first day was." He grinned broadly at Seidou, who hesitantly smiled back.

"He's less talkative than you. He doesn't get distracted as easily."

"Plus, his handwriting is neater. I can actually read his reports."

Nagachika gave a mock groan of pain, clutching at his chest with one eye squeezed shut. "Ouch. Have some mercy. Still, it looks like you're fitting in just fine." He turned back to Akira and Amon, chattering with the same excitable expression he always wore.

"You shouldn't be laughing so loud at a ghoul scene. It's disrespectful." Amon tried to chastise him, but he was smiling too. They all were, like it was some sort of a happy reunion.

Seidou was suddenly struck by déjà vu. He felt like he was still a Tokyo police officer instead of the new scribe, watching their team from the outside.

_He was gone for a month, but he looks so comfortable to be back. Like nothing had changed._

He swallowed and stared at Nagachika. Things had certainly changed though. He remembered the phone call from a weary Amon, how tightly he had gripped the receiver until his knuckles glowed white.

_He died. He was_ dead _. That's what they said._

He wasn't sure what to expect when he found out Nagachika would come back. His first impulsive thought had been translucency or mottled green skin—not for Nagachika to look the same as how he had always looked.

It was all very confusing, but he supposed it would be all right in the end. He shook his head with a faint smile. Straightforward solutions didn't seem to be his new profession's forte. He would just have to get used to that too.

* * *

Hide accompanied Akira and Amon to their regular café. He had extended the offer to Takizawa, but the latter had politely refused with a rapid shake of the head and an excuse about clearing out his desk at the station.

Hide waved until Takizawa's brown hair flopped out of sight.

"I hope he enjoys being on the team."

"Today was his first day, but he did well."

The corners of Hide's lips twitched upwards in a rueful grin. "Oh, I heard all about his neat handwriting and his boring seriousness. Sounds like you found an upgrade."

"It'll take time getting used to him being there," Akira countered, settling down in her favorite seat at the café. "And getting used to you  _not_  being there."

"Aww, so you miss me?" He kept his voice teasing and light. He was giving them permission to shrug him off with another dry quip. Instead, Amon and Akira both nodded.

"It's good to have you…back."

Hide swallowed thickly and dropped his gaze.  _Back, huh?_

He doubted they meant back in the coffee shop. They meant back among the living.

_Is that what I am now? Living again?_

Everything had happened so quickly and left him disoriented, like a series of strobe light memories. The serial killer, the knife, the numbness that swept over him, punctuated by Kaneki's distant pleas for him to live. But he had been so sleepy and warm that he couldn't anymore, falling further into the darkness.

And then he was awake, gasping and blinking at the sterile whiteness around him. His body felt no different than before, but was that what "being alive" meant?

He looked up to see Akira's and Amon's concerned gazes on him. He brushed them off with a weak chuckle and a scratch at his cheek.

"Oops, my bad. I've been spacing out a bit more since, uh, waking up. I'm fine though," he hastily added, answering their inevitable next question.

"Are you?"

Hide paused to consider the question, deciding he owed them a genuine answer instead of a blanket placation.

"I think so? I don't feel that different. I know I should though. I mean, my hea—" Hide hesitated, glancing around the café for eavesdroppers. He grabbed a fistful of fabric on the left side of his chest. "My heart doesn't beat anymore. It's just…silent."

Their eyes widened and Akira dropped her coffee cup with a ceramic  _crack_  to the table.

"The Reaper—err, Arima said it's expected. That's the way it is for all of us. Technically, I don't have to breathe, eat, or sleep anymore either. I still can—and believe me, I do, because I don't think I could handle all this weirdness otherwise and it would get me some really weird stares if I suddenly stopped breathing and—" His voice hitched as he inhaled reflexively and Akira winced at the desperate sound.

"Jeez, I thought I was past that," he grumbled, scowling at the table. "I don't even  _need_ to breathe."

He seemed embarrassed by the reaction, though Akira didn't know why. He had  _died_  a month ago; there was bound to be some residual trauma.

"You said all of us…?" Amon echoed, brow furrowing as he changed the subject.

Hide nodded, shoulders drooping as he relaxed. "Arima said there are others like me. Doves, that's what we're called. We can remove ghoul marks from people. Save them before they're killed."

Akira's eyebrow darted upwards. "That's impressive."

"Yeah, yeah. But there's not many of us around, so don't start looking for a new job yet. Arima said I won't be able to save everyone. Plus, you guys will still have to investigate natural ghoul deaths."

Akira didn't miss the way he excluded himself or the way his eyes dropped to his empty plate.

Neither did Amon, if his tightened frown was any indication.

"Will you work with a different team then? A group of, uh, Doves?"

Hide shook his head. "No, not quite. Arima said I'm the only Dove in the 20th Ward. Basically, that means I'm kind of a big deal." He grinned, the faded look in his eyes disappearing underneath the crinkles.

"But you'll still work with someone, right? You won't be out there by yourself?"

He laughed at Amon's concern, brushing it off with a wave of the hand. "You don't have to  _worry._ I'll have a partner, a ghoul who's familiar with, uh, my condition." Hide's grin took on a wicked glint. "He actually doesn't know about me yet, but I'll be seeing him later today."

"You're making me feel sorry for a ghoul," Amon muttered with a shake of the head.

Akira agreed with a fond roll of her eyes. "I might have to ask Arima to transfer the poor ghoul before you torture him like you tortured us."

His laughs grew louder, attracting stares from those seated around them. His gaze shifted over Amon's shoulder, landing on a trio of customers, each eyeing him with various expressions of shock. No plates lingered on their table.

The female customer recovered first, eyes narrowing behind her red-rimmed glasses before she glanced away with a puckered frown. Hide stared at her a moment longer before turning back to his friends.

"This isn't goodbye, you know. You aren't getting rid of me that easy. Just because I'm off doing a different job doesn't meant I can't pop in now and again."

Akira and Amon exchanged hoisted eyebrows, both groaning simultaneously.

* * *

Hinami wanted to join them when they went to see the Reaper. Kaneki supposed he shouldn't have been surprised. After all, she was about to start working with Touka soon. It was only natural to expect her to tag along.

Kaneki fell in step behind Touka and Hinami as they crossed the empty park. The sun was hot overhead, warm enough to heat Kaneki's chilled skin. He supposed the humans had fled for the indoors, where air conditioning and cool drinks awaited.

They always met in the wooded area at the summit of a low hill. Kaneki had always thought it strange—even if the park was crowded, he and Touka would never be seen. However, he never realized that the Reaper was part of the human world as well. Hide's teammates had proven that, when they had called him  _their_  benefactor a month ago.

Kaneki slowed his pace, lost in thought again. He couldn't blame Touka for being agitated with his new habit. It happened more often than he would have liked.

Ahead of him, Hinami raced up the hill and skidded to a stop at the edge of the trees. Touka followed her up at a more relaxed pace, offering a greeting at whoever waited up top.

"Hurry up, Onii-chan!" Despite the urgent words, Hinami's voice sounded reserved. Kaneki wondered if his new partner was there, if their appearance had startled her.

He sighed and hiked up the hill. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the bench where he and Hide met. He steered his gaze away, focusing on the hill's summit instead of the empty bench. He first recognized the bright white of the Reaper's trench coat, stark against the dark tree line.

"Reaper," Kaneki murmured softly, nodding towards the man once he reached the top of the hill. Hinami dipped her head as well before darting behind Kaneki, using him like a protective shield she would periodically peek out from behind.

"Touka-chan told me I would have a new partner. Are they here?"

Hinami's eyes darted towards a shifting shadow behind the Reaper and Kaneki's gaze followed. He stiffened, feeling his chest tighten and his lips part.

_It's…_

"Yo, Kaneki! Looks like you're the one who's supposed to show me the ropes. Be sure to take good care of me, all right?"

It was Hide. Bright and alive with every feature crystal clear. Hide with a wide grin and crinkled eyes. Kaneki mashed his lips together to try to stifle the muted burn along his eyelids. He wanted to run to Hide, to grip him tightly and make sure he was real, but he remained rooted to the spot.

_I don't understand… I saw him die. The Reaper said he couldn't be a ghoul._

As if understanding Kaneki's stunned silence, he nodded and offered an ever-patient smile. "You are being reassigned. You'll have a different task."

_Reassigned? What else can a ghoul do other than reap?_

"The 20th Ward finally has a residential Dove again." The Reaper gestured towards Hide, who flashed an embarrassed smile. Kaneki took a reflexive intake of breath, causing the air to rattle uselessly in his chest. "Just in time, as the rates of secondary reapings have been rising."

_Hide's a Dove? How is that possible?_

"While the human teams continue to investigate the deaths caused by errant ghouls, you will work to prevent wrongful deaths from occurring in the first place. You will find those marked and remove the marks."

Kaneki's gaze darted back towards Hide, who nodded dutifully, his expression serious.  _He's…he's a Dove. He can remove ghoul marks—he can save people._

"Do you understand?" The Reaper paused, shifting his stare back to Kaneki.

Did he understand fully? Kaneki wasn't sure, but it didn't matter.

_He_  could save people now, working alongside Hide. He didn't have to be a monster anymore. He didn't have to be alone.

He blinked the brightness from his eyes before bobbing his head rapidly.

* * *

They encountered their first marked human a few days after their partnership began. Kaneki saw her first, shiny and clear against the blurry world around them.

"Do you see her? The one with the hair clips?"

Hide followed his gaze, squinting slightly. "Yeah, she's a little bit brighter than the others. Looks sort of like an aura? Does that mean she's marked?"

Kaneki nodded.

"Okay…so what do we do next?"

"The Reaper didn't tell you?"

Hide shot him a flat stare, though the corner of his lips were twitching upwards. "Other than the basics, he told me literally  _nothing_. I figured this was a hands-on-experience kind of job."

Kaneki set off towards the woman, lip snagged between his teeth as he thought. "Well, uh, whenever Touka-chan and I would reap, we would make sure that the human was in a private place to prevent attracting unwanted attenti—" Kaneki broke off as a businessman nearly plowed through him.

Hide waited for Kaneki to move back to his side. Kaneki felt so real beside him that sometimes he forgot those around him couldn't see him too. No wonder he was getting so many strange stares from passersby. He probably looked like a lunatic, talking to the air.

"All it took was a touch. It was… it was kind of like an instinct. Maybe that's what it'll feel like to you?" Kaneki shrugged, which only made Hide's brow furrow more.

"Yeah, maybe." His gaze shifted back to the woman, who had ducked into an apartment building lobby. Hide trailed after her, holding the door open for Kaneki.

(Kaneki had to admit, it was nice having someone clear the way for him. Usually he had to wait or get creative when following humans inside.)

Hide paused, waiting for the woman to move a few meters away before following her. On the street, she seemed unbothered, but once inside, she started throwing strange looks over her shoulder. Kaneki kept to the edge of the walls, trying to stay out of direct sight. One particularly vigorous backwards glance caused a hairclip to fall from her bangs.

Hide grinned and scooped it up.

"Ma'am! Ma'am!" He called, taking advantage of his chance to get closer without seeming creepy. She paused, eyeing him nervously. "This fell out of your hair." While one hand offered the hairclip, his other hand was reaching stealthily for her exposed upper arm.

Kaneki moved a step closer, interested in a better view of what would happen. Her eyes jumped to the shift in movement and she backpedaled quickly, bumping against the wall in her haste to escape.

"That's one of them! They've been following me all day!" Her voice was hoarse and breathy, as if she were holding in a scream.

"Ma'am—listen to me. I'm going to help you. He—he won't hurt you."

She turned her gaze back onto Hide. "You're one of them! You're glowing just like them! Monster!"

"Please, I'm not going to hurt yo—"

"Get away from me! All of you! Leave me alone!" Her voice was rising, growing more panicked with each word. "Help!" She threw her hands up like a defensive barrier against Hide's approach.

Hide winced, looking instinctively over his shoulder for anyone lingering in the hallway. Fortunately, it was empty, but he wasn't sure how much longer they had. He made another face and apologized quickly before grabbing the woman's outstretched hands.

Kaneki tilted his head, watching the scene unfold. A faint light blossomed around their connected skin and the woman's profile gradually blurred and dimmed as she crossed back to the land of the living.

_He unmarked her._ He had never seen it happen before. It made his skin prickle, like there was electricity in the air.

She recoiled at his touch, squeezing her eyes shut with a soft moan. When she reopened her eyes, she looked confused before ripping her hand away.

_"Get—get away from me!"_  she hissed before rushing down the hall. Hide watched her go, a pained expression on his face.

"I didn't even get the chance to ask her if it worked." His tone was flat, but his eyes were wide and lips drawn tight. He looked a bit rattled by the encounter, perhaps even more so than the woman.

"It worked. I couldn't see her clearly anymore."

"That's good." A pause. "Do they all act like that? Try to get away or fight?"

_He probably isn't used to being called a monster._ For Kaneki, the woman's reaction didn't seem particularly out of the ordinary. He had been branded worse.

"I didn't expect—well, I was expecting something different," Hide continued, still staring down the hallway.

"You expected gratitude?"

Hide shook his head with an embarrassed laugh. "I'm not that self-centered. I just thought she would be more relieved. Not terrified or angry."

Kaneki watched Hide's fingers. They were still glowing from the contact. Still shaking.

"She was so… I could feel it. The disgust and fear. It was so strange. Draining, almost."

Kaneki considered the implication of Hide's words with a frown.

_It makes sense. We steal life when we mark. He's the one who atones for our greed, fills up the empty spaces we leave._

He had hoped that Hide would be immune to the negative or painful emotions, but he supposed it was only to be expected with anything that had to do with reaping. Still, Kaneki knew that only someone as resilient as Hide could ever be a Dove.

However, instead of telling Hide this, Kaneki settled for a shrug. "They've probably never encountered a ghoul before."

Hide digested Kaneki's words with a slow nod and an overly bright smile. "I guess that just means I have to work on my bedside manner then, huh?"

Kaneki glanced down and watched Hide's slackened fingers, the ones that had removed the woman's mark, curl into a loose fist. He wanted to grab them and reassure Hide that he wasn't a monster, that these fingers had  _saved_  that woman's life, but Kaneki's arms remained by his side as he followed Hide out of the apartment complex hallway.

He was scared to touch Hide again.

He thought back to the Reaper's first words when he found Kaneki cradling Hide's broken body.

_("Kaneki, what have you done?")_

The Reaper didn't offer an explanation, but Kaneki knew that using the stolen life from the murderer had caused another ripple in fate. Perhaps even causing the ripple that allowed Hide to become a Dove.

(At this point, he wasn't going to question it. He was just grateful to have Hide back.)

Kaneki considered the faint glow from Hide's touch, how he described it as an empty, draining feeling. Would the same thing happen if Kaneki ever touched him again? Would all of his life be sucked out by Kaneki's greed, until there was nothing left of Hide?

Kaneki didn't want to risk it until he knew more. He pushed away his desire to grab Hide's arm and squeeze it tightly, never to let him go.

* * *

He found himself spending more time in Hide's apartment with each passing week.

The first visit had been unintended, a backtracking trip when Hide had forgotten his subway pass. Kaneki had followed him into the building and up the stairs out of habit.

(Kaneki was surprised to see the shelves lined with food and the bedding rumpled. Hide almost seemed embarrassed when he admitted that he still ate and slept like he did before, unable to break the habit.)

However, when Kaneki reluctantly explained where he went each time they parted ways, how he wandered the streets for hours, Hide was stunned and demanded that Kaneki stay with him instead. He tried to argue, convinced that Hide's offer was out of politeness rather than practicality, but Hide refused to take "no" for an answer.

It was quieter in Hide's apartment, especially when his host went to bed. There was much less to do, but he appreciated the change of pace and the chance to relax.

After their first month as partners, Hide presented him with a surprise when they returned to the apartment. He held a book towards Kaneki, shimmying with delight.

"I noticed you kept looking at the book that had fallen out of that guy's hand after I demarked him. You said you liked to read, right? The book store lady said this was the next big hit."

Kaneki offered a faded smile, touched at Hide's thoughtfulness, but reluctant to bring up his inability to read. He couldn't even make out the details on the cover.

"I appreciate the thought, Hide. Unfortunat—"

"I know, I know. You can't read it. That's why I'll read it  _to_ you."

"Huh?"

Hide crossed to the couch and jumped onto it, bouncing for a moment until he got comfortable. Kaneki followed, brow still quirked upwards in confusion. Hide cracked open the book, cleared his throat, and read the first few sentences, waggling his eyebrows at Kaneki with each pause.

"Hide, you don't have to do this."

"Nonsense. Now, where was I?" He scrutinized the page before picking up his place again. Kaneki settled down on the floor beside him, smiling.

Hide continued. Kaneki could tell he wasn't used to reading out loud. He read too fast, only pausing when he stumbled across a tricky character or to catch an instinctive breath. Nonetheless, he tried to add some excitement to his narration. His voice would fluctuate between a bored monotone to pitchy falsettos depending on which character was speaking.

Kaneki closed his eyes and leaned against the couch, letting Hide's words guide his thoughts. It had been so long since he could remember reading.  _Hell,_ he couldn't even remember it at all, but Hide's thoughtful gesture had awoken a warmness in his chest.

Hide's voice grew hoarse as it tapered off to a drowsy murmur. Kaneki opened his eyes and glanced over at his partner, chest gently rising and falling as he slept.

"Hide?"

No response.

Kaneki smiled and shook his head. The book had been engrossing and he was eager to find out what happened to the poor protagonist, but he knew Hide needed his rest. He was a bit surprised Hide was even willing to keep reading after the subject material turned dark with the appearance of a serial killer.

("Man, now this has a  _serial killer?_ " Hide had interrupted at the character's debut. "With a silly name like  _Black Goat's Egg_ , I was hoping this would be a funnier story.")

Kaneki studied Hide's sleeping face, how his eyelids fluttered and his lips puckered into a pleased smile. He was grateful for Hide, grateful for the distraction from his loneliness.

Kaneki snared his lower lip between his teeth and hesitantly reached for Hide's limp arm. He was terrified, afraid that he could lose Hide again, but he couldn't help himself. He gingerly lowered an index finger to Hide's skin, followed by the rest of his fingers as if he were playing a chord on Hide's arm.

At first, all he was aware of was the heat radiating from Hide's skin. He gasped, feeling his chest tighten again. The world around him burned brightly with color. He could see everything: the dark illustrations on the book, the checkerboard print on Hide's curtains, and the discarded headphones resting on the coffee table. With his free hand, he reached for the headphones, his fingertips brushing against the cool plastic.

_It's real. It's all real._

He was acutely aware of the burning sensation where his skin connected with Hide's and he jerked his hand away. Slowly, the room faded into a dull, shapeless haze. His fingertips passed through the orangey blur of the headphones.

Kaneki tuned back to Hide and his shoulders slumped in relief when he saw that his partner was unchanged, still dozing with a peaceful smile.

_What… what happened?_

Kaneki took another steadying swallow and wrapped his fingers around Hide's wrist. Again, the details of his surroundings came back in dizzying sharpness. It felt like the aftereffects of a reaping, only more intense. Like he was actually a human again.

Kaneki dropped Hide's wrist and the world blurred again. He could feel the pulsing of a burgeoning headache from the rapid shifts, but he didn't care.

"Hide! Hide!"

Hide startled into a sitting position at Kaneki's panicked shouts. "Wha? Huh? Err, was I drooling?" He wiped the back of his hand against the corner of his lips.

"Hide, could you feel that?"

"Feel what?" He squinted groggily at Kaneki. "What are you talking about?"

"Can I hold your hand?"

"Wha?" A faint blush spread across Hide's cheeks and tainted his ears crimson. "I, uh, sure. Why not?"

Kaneki grabbed his hand, feeling the warmth from Hide's skin seep into his fingers. The world was bright and clear; he could read the words on the corner of an exposed page from the book.

Hide gasped at the contact and Kaneki moved to pull away, but Hide tightened his grip.

"Are you okay? That isn't hurting you, is it?"

Hide shook his head before looking down at his hands. "Your hand was just so cold. Colder than that other time."

"But you don't feel hurt? Or tired?"

"No… Why do you ask?" Hide leaned forward for a better look. Kaneki's eyes were wide and bright and he seemed a bit flushed, which was a strange observation in and of itself. "Are  _you_  okay?"

"When I touched you," Kaneki's tone was tight and trembling, like he was trying to keep his words under control, "all of a sudden, the world came into focus. I could read and touch the headphones and—"

Hide felt his own excitement rise with Kaneki's. "Huh? That means—wait a second! Does that mean I could turn you human again?"

Kaneki shook his head. He doubted even the Reaper had that much power. He settled for a faint smile and a tilt of the head, still feeling jitters race up his arm from Hide's tight grip.

"No, but it's nice to experience these things again. You were like an anchor, pulling me to the human world." His eyes drifted towards the open book on Hide's lap. Didn't the Reaper say it was possible to enjoy human pleasures again, if he only waited for the chance?

Hide settled against the back of the couch, the movement forcing Kaneki to climb up and join him unless he wanted to lose his grip on Hide's hand. "Arima  _did_ tell me that I would serve as a conductor between the living and the dead. It freaked me the hell out, 'cause I was thinking, y'know,  _ghosts._ But this makes sense too. I guess it also explains why I can see you  _and_ my old team."

"Or how the Reaper can work with the humans and ghouls. If he's like you—"

Kaneki's mind was spinning. The few items he had been able to hold before meeting Hide were all things given to him by the Reaper. His uniform and his tablet with the names of his assignments. It had all been right in front of him since the beginning, if only he had stopped to think about it.

"A Dove? He might be. Or maybe he's something similar," Hide agreed with another nod.

"Possibly."

Kaneki smiled down at their interlaced fingers. Hide's radiating heat was spreading across his arms and torso now. He no longer had blood, but he imagined this flowing warmth was similar.

"Are you sure this isn't bothering you? You don't feel sick or tired?"

Hide shook his head, grinning again. "Nah, just cold. But that's nothing I can't get used to."

* * *

It soon became a comfortable tradition.

During their lazy afternoons, when Hide needed to recuperate from multiple demarkings, they would return to the apartment. As Hide would doze in the warm sunlight streaming from the living room window, Kaneki would perch on the edge of the couch, his knees tucked under his chin and his ankle tucked under Hide's foot.

As long as a part of him touched Hide, he could read to his heart's content. When night fell and Hide moved to the bedroom, sometimes Kaneki would lie next to him, with tangled calves or interlinked elbows, reading late into the night as Hide slept.

His piles of books grew steadily taller, threatening to tumble at the foot of the couch or the edge of the bed. Hide always set aside a portion of his stipend from Arima to buy more books for Kaneki, following his partner through the bookstore with looped pinkies so he could pick out his next adventure.

Late one night, Kaneki had finished his book but he couldn't reach another for fear of losing contact with Hide. Instead, he settled for a restful stillness, lying beside Hide as he slept. He felt his slow, unfocused blinks align with Hide's breathy exhales.

(Hide had confessed that he no longer need to breathe, at least not the way he had before. He warned Kaneki just in case his attempt at normalcy slipped while sleeping, already anticipating Kaneki's panicked reaction. However, Kaneki needn't have worried; Hide's chest rose and fell regularly, his body unable to break a twenty-year-old habit.)

(It always made Kaneki wonder why he had given up on the human habit after becoming a ghoul.)

Kaneki glanced to the side, studying Hide in the pale city light glow. It was times like these when he was grateful he couldn't sleep, since it meant he couldn't be dreaming. That his new life had to be real.

Hide's brow furrowed in distress, his lips parting with a frown. Kaneki shifted to get a closer look, noting that Hide was having another nightmare. Although the worst ones had subsided with time, Kaneki knew Hide still had nightmares about his death or particularly painful demarkings. He was reminded again of the Reaper's policy to erase the memories of his ghouls, thankful that he didn't have to suffer the same trauma.

With an elbow still tucked against Hide's side, Kaneki stretched his free hand across Hide's face and rested it on the warm skin under his chin, his fingers fanning from neck to the corner of Hide's lip. Hide relaxed at the contact, his heated skin cooling at Kaneki's touch, and fell back into a drowsy slumber.

Kaneki smiled. It was  _all_  real.

* * *

Hinami kept her gaze adverted when Onii-chan and his friend approached. Seeing the former ghoul investigator standing next to the Reaper on the hill had startled her. After all, she had heard from Onii-chan himself about how his friend had died, killed from her mistake. She never expected him to come back.

As glad as she was for Onii-chan, she was still ashamed. She had kept away, always staying close to Onee-chan or ducking away when a chance to meet Kaneki came up.

However, Onii-chan's friend insisted on seeing her. And here they were, lurking in the alleyway near her favorite coffeeshop.

_Onii-chan must have told him about why he died…that it was my fault._ She kept her gaze lowered, even when Onii-chan called out a greeting.  _He's going to be mad._

"Hinami-chan? Are you alright?"

She peeked up, expecting to see a glint of sharpness in Hide's eyes. Instead, his eyes were warm and concerned. Concerned for her, she belatedly realized.

"Kaneki and I can come back another time."

She mashed her lips into a frown and shook her head. No, she would be fine. Onee-chan had already commented about how brave she was in regard to reapings. She had to show Onii-chan that she was brave in other ways too.

Hide smiled at her response and nodded. "I'm glad. Kaneki's told me so much about you. It would be a shame for us not to officially meet each other."

Hinami returned the expression. His smile wasn't guarded like Rize's or humorless like Nishiki's. It seemed genuine and she felt a bit better about agreeing to meet him.

"Onii-chan's told me about you too. He said… he said you tell embarrassing stories."

Hide shot Kaneki a side-eyed glance. "Oh,  _did_ he now? Maybe you can tell me embarrassing stories about him later."

Kaneki cleared his throat with a forced scowl. Hinami's smile grew wider; she might like Hide if he could make Onii-chan so flustered.

"Anyway, I have a surprise for you." Hide tilted his head towards the flower shop across the street. Hinami's eyes widened. She had slipped in once to marvel at the blurry colors around her, but she had to retreat quickly when the customer left, never knowing when the door would open next.

"Can you take me in? You can open doors, can't you?"

Hide exchanged glances with Kaneki again. "Something like that. Come on!" He waved her over and she followed quickly after him, Kaneki trailing behind.

He pushed through the front door and held it open for the split second it took Kaneki and Hinami to slip though. She smiled, twisting around to take it all in at once. The colors of the flowers and the store smeared together like aged stained glass. Hide moved to the front counter, speaking softly to the blurry outline of the florist. She disappeared, leaving them alone in the shop.

"Close your eyes, Hinami-chan," Onii-chan whispered. She frowned, brow furrowing at the strange instructions, but complied nonetheless.

Someone reached for her hand and she jumped at the sudden warmth. It had to have been Hide, since Onii-chan's skin was always cool like hers.

A waft of air tickled her nose, prompting her to scrunch up her nose. Was it scented? It must have been her imagination.

Hide's hand felt warmer and she took another tentative sniff, convinced she had smelled something.

_Wait… was that…what was that?_

"Okay, you can open your eyes now."

She slowly pried them open and gasped, taking another sharp inhale of the cloying scents around her. Bouquets of every color surrounded them, petals and leaves spilling onto the floor with dizzying shades of red and green and pink. The intensity of the colors and the thick floral scent was overwhelming, but she had to get closer. Her grip tightened around Hide's hand, their fingers becoming interlaced as she moved towards a stand of daffodils.

Her surroundings were so rich and vibrant. She had only experienced this once before, when Onee-chan had let her take over a reaping completely on her own.

Was this what it was like to be part of the human world again?

With her free hand, she reached for a daffodil, fingertips quivering when they brushed against the silken petal. Her chest felt tight, like it was about to burst. Onii-chan smiled from a short distance away. He couldn't see what she was touching, but he knew she was enjoying herself.

"I'm afraid we won't be getting any more of the su—" The florist returned from the back room and blinked when she saw Hinami. "Oh! I didn't hear anyone come in."

Hinami gawked at her, taking in the warm wrinkles around her eyes and the green tinge around her fingernails.

_She can see me. Not as a ghoul…but as a person._ She caught her reflection in a mirrored vase, seeing brown eyes instead of glowing red.

She could hear Hide's breezy laugh beside her. "Ah, yeah. My little sister is always getting lost. Good thing she found me, huh?" She glanced up and saw his easy smile still hadn't slipped.

Hinami's face twisted sharply and her eyelids felt as hot as Hide's hand.

_He… He isn't upset. It's my fault that he died and he's not mad at me._

"I'm sorry!" she hiccuped, throwing herself at Hide, wrapping her arms around his torso. Hide stumbled backwards with the jarring action, patting Hinami's back with awkward taps.

"Uhm, it's okay. Listen, you don't have to cry." He had been trying to come up with a quick cover story; he didn't realize the double meaning to his words.

The florist seemed equally panicked by Hinami's outburst. She bustled to one of the window displays and pulled out a few flowers to make a makeshift bouquet.

"Here you go, dear. No, no—you can take them." She handed the flowers to Hinami, who took them with a sniffle and a smile. She pulled away from her embrace with Hide, but he kept a reassuring hand on her back.

(The poor florist had enough to deal with. They didn't need to add a disappearing girl to her list.)

"Thank you." Hinami paused and glanced up at Hide. "Thank you," she repeated in a softer voice.

" _Oh_ , right. It's all right," he answered with a grin, brown eyes crinkling.

They remained in the shop for a few minutes more. Hinami and the florist quickly bonded over her wares. Hinami gasped and pointed at all the various flowers, asking about their names and meanings.

Kaneki followed behind, silent and unseen, but smiling each time he caught Hide's eye.

* * *

He had already ordered by the time she arrived. Two cups of coffee rested on the table, one for her and one for him.

"Hello, Arima-san," Akira bobbed her head in his direction as she sat down. "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me."

He smiled at her stiffness. He had supervised her for many years, but the latest revelation—that he wasn't simply a rich human with a strange interest in ghouls—had rattled her approach to their relationship.

"How is Takizawa-san acclimating to his new role? From preliminary reports, he seems to be doing a commendable job."

"He's—he's fine." Akira took a brief sip of her coffee before lowering her cup and skewering Arima with a narrowed stare.

"Did you know?"

Arima blinked slowly, considering his words. "About what?"

"About Nagachika and the ghouls. About the serial killer. That…Nagachika would die?"

He settled back in his chair, a soft "ahh" escaping his throat. "I didn't know at first. I knew Nagachika would be a hard worker and recommended him to your team. I also knew that ghouls were reaping outside of their assignments, but I never anticipated they would target him. I found out about it after it was too late."

Akira's stare softened. Nagachika had tried to explain Arima's role as best he could, how he lingered at the boundary between humans and ghouls, making sure everything ran smoothly. He may have watched both sides, but he wasn't omniscient.

"Could you have stopped them? Removed Nagachika's mark?"

"I'm sure Nagachika explained some of the terms to you and your partner earlier."

She nodded. "He said he's something called a Dove, which means he can remove ghoul marks. Is that what you are?"

"No. The ghouls call me a Reaper. Think of it as… a sort of mediator."

Ghouls, Doves, Reapers. The roles all sounded jumbled and chaotic, like they were characters in a teenager's manga.

"A mediator?"

"It's my job to make sure that the rules of fate are followed. Certain people must die at certain times. Ghouls are the ones who take them."

"And when ghouls kill those who aren't supposed to die yet?"  _Innocent people like Nagachika?_

"Then teams like yours are created to help them. You investigate and protect humans from themselves, stopping those who have been wrongfully corroded by ghouls."

Akira fell silent, digesting Arima's words with a slow nod.

_So that's it then. We keep each other in check, like two sides of the same coin._

"Did you know Nagachika would become a Dove?"

Arima shook his head again. "He had the right temperament for it—resilient, compassionate, eager. But those traits alone don't mean anything."

Akira smiled down into her coffee cup. Nagachika was all those things and more. It was why she and Amon had grown to care for him so much during their two-year partnership.

"What else is needed then?"

His eyes shifted over her shoulder, glazed and gray behind his silver-rimmed glasses.

"In addition, certain… _circumstances_  must occur. His death wasn't supposed to happen. The ghoul who marked him defied fate and Kaneki's attempt to save him only caused more tangles. It's very complicated and very inexact."

The corners of her lips flicked higher.  _So, basically Nagachika became a Dove because he and everyone around him told fate to get bent?_ She couldn't imagine it happening to anyone but him. It felt like the punchline to one of his silly jokes.

Her expression sobered. It hadn't been a joke though.

She thought back to the alleyway, back to the sobbing ghoul who kept pleading for Nagachika to live. She remembered the faint glow around Nagachika's body before everything went still. That ghoul—the one she and Amon tried to protect him from—was the one who saved Nagachika's life.

Nagachika had died and now he was back. Different, but still the exact same.

Akira groaned. All of this talk about fate and death was making her head spin.

"I don't think I understand everything. I… I don't think I ever will."

Arima's smile returned, kind and patient. The same one he offered her when she saw her first ghoul stain.

"Perhaps not. But rest assured, his story does not end with tragedy."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Am I forgiven now? :')
> 
> I appreciate all of the lovely reviews you guys have left (even if I haven't had the chance to respond...). I know this AU has the potential to be fleshed out so much more ('cause there are still some loose ends I'm not happy with), but I'm just glad it's over. Maybe I'll come back someday. Thanks for sticking with this ole mess! Also, massive thanks to the mods at Hide Big Bang for putting this amazing event together.


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